


r u kidding me

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, MEEEOOWW, T R Y P O P H O B I A, THEYRE FUCKING, Texting, VEGAS !!!!!!, also i tried to make their typing styles different but then i got too lazy, also idk if this is actually possible, also theyre all living in california bc thats where i live, also vERKWAN IS CONFIRMED NOW KIDS, and salty minghao, and super gay, but i really dont want to keep stressin over updates anymore, but lets just say it is, future group mom seokmin ?????, i didnt do my research whoops, if u dont listen to fall out boy im very sorry also you should, junhui and chokers thank you, mentions of atla bc theyre all fuckin trash, mentions of dan and phil, mentions of haikyuu bc theyre fuckin wee b s, mentions of hanahaki disease bc seokmin is trash, mentions of la la land bc it messed me up and the soundtrack is great, mentions of princessmei bc i love her, mentions of soulmate aus bc channie and seokmin are trash, oh yeah also, or not officially i still dont know if im going to add more stuff in the future, seokhoon are engaged now lmao, slight mention of tg but its like 5 seconds, so yea america au i guess, sorry to all the people that arent here for the seokhoon, that weird banana sunshine moon song dan sang a while back, this is a shitfest, this is also really terrible goodbye, yall this is officially Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:54:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8908054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: svt chat what more did you expect





	1. h elp

**Author's Note:**

> yea so this is the result of me thinking up a stupid soonchan au thingy. honestly this is really stupid and idk what im even doing w this ???? theres zero plot and updates will probably be really random, depends on when i get new stupid ideas. also-i cut this short bc theres kind if a lot ?? so updates might be steady until i run out of already written shit. anyway enjoy this shitshow, kids. 
> 
> also this is me trying to be funny send help
> 
> side note: im aware it says '1/1' for chapters but there will be more !! im still figuring out how to edit things so pls be patient !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh hi aug 2017 update how the FUCK is this thing still getting hits n kudos this is the cringiest thing ive ever fucking made with my own two hands n i used outdated memes i wannabt tto ddie

callmesoon: wonu  
callmesoon: wonu help me  
mEmeBoiXx: what the frickity frack paddle whack do you want  
callmesoon: so,,,,,  
callmesoon: i maybe mightve  
callmesoon: picked up a homeless person  
mEmeBoiXx: excuse me what  
callmesoon: wa IT LET ME EXPLAIN  
mEmeBoiXx: ,,,,,  
mEmeBoiXx: continue  
callmesoon: o k so i was walking around in the park bc i was super fucking bored and i saw this kid sitting by a tree and i was like 'o shit hes super cute' and i walked closer and realized that he was h omle s s and i thought 'seriously who would kick this kid out of their house who could do that look at his lil face' so i went up to him and was like 'hey kid do u want to stay at my place for a bit' and idk if hes dense or really desperate or smth but he agreed????? and now????? hes in my bed???? sleeping?????  
mEmeBoiXx: soonyoung what the actual hell  
mEmeBoiXx: you picked up this homeless kid you saw in a park and t oo k hi m t o you r apa rt men t just because he was cu t e ?????  
callmesoon: ok but hear me out hes so cute and im not ok   
mEmeBoiXx: picture  
mEmeBoiXx: let me confirm your statement  
callmesoon: omgiod f i ne  
callmesoon: 1 attachment  
callmesoon: i couldve taken so much more he is a masterpiece wonu i am so in love  
mEmeBoiXx: soonyoung calm the fuck down you literally just met him  
callmesoon: n o !! i met him a few hours ago !! and we talked !!! abt him !!!!   
callmesoon: his name is chan and hes 17 and hes a senior in highschool bc he has an early birthday and he really likes dancing  
callmesoon: hes also super cute did i mention that  
mEmeBoiXx: yes you did  
mEmeBoiXx: but he is p cute  
callmesoon: wOa h there boi take a step ba C K hes mine go run off to mingyu or smth  
mEmeBoiXx: gladly  
callmesoon: yu c k  
mEmeBoiXx: ANYWAY what r u gonna do  
callmesoon: what do u mean  
mEmeBoiXx: well u cant keep him in ur apartment forever  
callmesoon: wait i cant  
mEmeBoiXx: omigod soonyoung  
mEmeBoiXx: do not tell me you actually planned to have him move in  
callmesoon: he has nowhere else to go !!! im not gonna throw him out like his parents did !!!   
mEmeBoiXx: ,,,,,,,,jesus christ  
mEmeBoiXx: just,,,,,tell everyone else  
callmesoon: e v e r y o n e ???  
mEmeBoiXx: yes everyone  
callmesoon: even cheol ???  
mEmeBoiXx: even cheol  
callmesoon: rip me

callmesoon: hEyYyyYyY guyssss,,,,,,  
callmesoon: got some news,,,,,  
jihoon: oh my god soonyoung what did you do  
angelmom: did you burn down the kitchen again  
callmesoon: n o  
callmesoon: also i didnt burn down the whole damn kitchen it was just one part,,,,  
mom2: did you get your foot stuck in the pipe again  
callmesoon: n O  
whataretissues: soonyoung,,,,dont tell me  
callmesoon: did wonwoo already tell you  
whataretissues: ye a,,,,,  
callmesoon: great  
princeofchina: wait what  
princeofchina: what did you do  
booyoncé: ye A SOON WHAT DID YOU DO  
booyoncé: exPLAIn uRSELF  
callmesoon: pls dont freak out but,,,,,,  
callmesoon: i kind of maybe picked up a homeless boy i found in the park and hes sleeping in my bed atm  
angelmom: ,,,,,,,  
mom2: excuse me what  
whataretissues: y up there it is  
mEmeBoiXx: idk what to tell u guys he thinks hes in love w the kid  
haohao: omigod soonyoung you did not  
callmesoon: i did???  
callmesoon: but he was so cute i couldnt help it,,,,  
haohao: gdi  
hansolbling: wait hold up  
hansolbling: soonyoung,,,,,,picked up a homeless kid,,,  
mEmeBoiXx: yes  
hansolbling: just  
hansolbling: bc he was cute  
mEmeBoiXx: yes  
callmesoon: omIgod hes so cute hes cuter than jeonghan  
angelmom: theres no way no one is cuter than me  
jihoon: ,,,,,,o k  
thesun: soON  
callmesoon: yE A BRO ?????  
thesun: IS HE REALLY THAT CUTE  
callmesoon: HELL YEA HE IS  
thesun: PICTURES  
callmesoon: PICTURES ?????? WITH AN S ?????  
callmesoon: hO O BOI I CAN DO THAT BRB  
callmesoon: 7 attachments  
callmesoon: LOOK HES SO CUTE !!!!!!!!!!  
callmesoon: IM IN TEARS HE JUST YAWNED IN HIS SLEEP HES SO CUTE WEJRDLDN  
thesun: hOL Y SHIT DUDE  
thesun: HE IS CUTER THAN JEONGHAN  
angelmom: excuse u  
haohao: hannie sorry theyre right on this one  
angelmom: hA O HOW COULD U  
mEmeBoiXx: i think you mean  
mEmeBoiXx: h a o  
mEmeBoiXx: could you  
mEmeBoiXx: (╭☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )╭☞  
callmesoon:,,,,,  
callmesoon: ill let that one slide since chan is making me want to die  
whataretissues: wonwoo im breaking up with you  
mEmeBoiXx: you say that every time i dont buy you chicken or make a pun im not worried  
princeofchina: he isnt cuter than hao tho  
haohao: junhui excuse me  
princeofchina: wh a tt ha t was a com pl imen t  
haohao: ill have u know this kid is at least 10 times cuter than the both of us watch urself wen junhui  
booyoncé: h A jun u just got roAsT E D  
hansolbling: kwan stop pls  
booyoncé: if u think that would stop me then ur wr on g boi  
hansolbling: moms save me  
angelmom: ur on ur own u probably think chans cuter than me too dont u  
mom2: han pls,,,,,  
mom2: anyway soonyoung was that really,,,,wise  
mom2: you sure hes not some serial killer or something  
callmesoon: yea obviously  
callmesoon: too nice n polite to be a serial killer  
callmesoon: also too cute but whATEVE R YKNO W  
mom2: how are you gonna pay for the both of you guys  
callmesoon: u hm,,,,,,  
thesun: da mn jisoo bringin up the real questions  
jihoon: seokmin i love you but shut up  
thesun: a w jihoonie u love me ????? :'))))))))  
jihoon: never mind  
thesun: :'(((((((  
callmesoon: ill work overtime or smth  
callmesoon: o h but then he'll be at home all alone cr a pol a,,,,,  
hansolbling: crapola ?????  
hansolbling: cra p ol a ?????  
hansolbling: soonyoung youre twenty years old what  
haohao: dont even bother  
princeofchina: hao im lonely come over :'(((((  
haohao: im literally in the room next to yours  
haohao: you move ur lazy ass  
princeofchina: :'((((((((((((((((  
princeofchina: :'(((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
haohao: fine  
mom2: soonyoung seriously how are you going to work this out  
callmesoon: ill think about it ok !!! ill just let him stay for a few days and see how it works out  
mom2: ok,,,,  
booyoncé: hey wheres cheol  
thesun: o h yea where i s cheol  
whataretissues: oml hes gonna come back to see all these messages  
whataretissues: how is he gonna react to soonyoungs story  
hansolbling: h ol y shi t im already laughing  
callmesoon: oh god

dad: what why so many messages  
dad: WHAT  
dad: KWON SOONYOUNG EXCUSE ME  
dad: wait he is really cute  
dad: hold up how old is he  
dad: also yea abt what jisoo said   
dad: work it out quickly  
haohao: lol ur acting like hes here or smth  
dad: oh i know he is hes just hiding  
haohao: :oc  
callmesoon: goDDAMMIT  
dad: there we go  
callmesoon: pls dont kill me  
dad: soonyoung you cant just pick up strangers bc theyre c u t e  
dad: thats just  
dad: why  
callmesoon: idk he was just really cute but he seemed really sad and upset and i wanted to see him happy  
haohao: u literally sound like ur in love i cant believe this  
mEmeBoiXx: told u  
callmesoon: g u y s hes so sweet and innocent and hes a little angel and hu g s thing s in hi s slee p hes so cute save me  
haohao: ur on ur own sor m8  
mEmeBoiXx: b i g s h r u g  
dad: just  
dad: dont be irrational  
callmesoon: m e ???? irrational ????? n o !!!!!!  
haohao: why do i not believe you


	2. !!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in the same day woo !! even though the first chapter was at like 12:30 this morning ,,whatever. this chapter is kind of really a mess pls forgive

callmesoon added dad, angelmom, mom2, princeofchina, mEmeBoiXx, jihoon, whataretissues, thesun, haohao, hansolbling, booyoncé, and channie  
callmesoon named the chat G U Y S  
callmesoon: HEYO GUYS SO CHAN GOT HIS PHONE TO WORK AGAIN SO I MADE A GROUP CHAT SO WE COULD ALL MEET EACH OTHER  
jihoon: seriously  
jihoon: are you kidding me  
jihoon: is he on right now  
callmesoon: hE Ll Y EA  
thesun: LMIGOD  
thesun: H I  
thesun: UR REALLY CUTE  
callmesoon: SEOKMIN SHUT UP YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND  
thesun: jihoonie doesnt care does he ????? :^)))))))))  
jihoon: seokmin get your ass over here  
thesun: o shit  
thesun: a w jihoonie just kissed me :')))))))))))  
thesun: anYWAY  
thesun: hi chan ur super cute and i love u  
channie: oh uhm  
channie: hi ??? seokmin right ???  
thesun: omIGOS HE SAID YNAME  
thesun: bRO HE SAID MY NAME  
callmesoon: DUDE U HAVE A B O Y FR IEN D  
jihoon: chan i dont know you but welcome to hell  
channie: oh uh,,,,,thank you ???  
angelmom: WHAT IS THIS  
angelmom: THE BOY THAT EVERYONE VOTED CUTER THAN ME ???????  
angelmom: soonyoung ur right he is polite  
angelmom: hi chan !! im jeonghan  
channie: hello !!  
angelmom: and yea jihoons right welcome to hell  
callmesoon: hEy HEY HE y DONT SCARE HIM OFF  
mom2: sighs  
mom2: anyway hi chan i'm jisoo :^))  
mom2: you're very cute by the way  
channie: !! aaaa thank you ??  
booyoncé: why the question marks boi appreciate ur cuteness  
booyoncé: bc none of us can ever be that cute  
channie: oh um ok ??? could i have your name or ??  
booyoncé: o yea im seungkwan kids  
booyoncé: i like to sing and i also have a really nice butt thank you very much  
hansolbling: kwan pls  
booyoncé: :^)))))  
hansolbling: heyo chan im hansol but you can call me vernon  
channie: vernon ??  
haohao: yea hes half white  
channie: oooh  
haohao: my names minghao and i come from china and im dating jun hes really annoying  
princeofchina: hE Y  
princeofchina: waTC H URSELF  
haohao: see  
channie: ah ,,,,  
callmesoon: y OU GUYS ARE MAKINF CHANNIE UNCOMFORTABLE SHUT UP  
channie: nonono its ok !!! this is nice  
channie: thank you guys  
princeofchina: no probbo m8 :^))  
mEmeBoiXx: heyo ill finish up the rest of the introductions so this doesnt turn into a mess yeah ??  
channie: aa thank you  
mEmeBoiXx: so yea my names wonwoo and im dating mingyu, whos whataretissues bc hes damn nasty, dad is seungcheol whos dating jeonghan and jisoo, and just to confirm, seokmin is dating jihoon, minghao is dating jun, hansol and seungkwan have got some kind of sexual tension going on, and soonyoungs been single for like 10 years  
callmesoon: hE YHEY HE Y THAT INFORMATION WAS UNNECESARRY  
jihoon: you spelled unnecessary wrong  
haohao: when does he ever spell anything correctly  
mEmeBoiXx: lol true  
booyoncé: sexUAL TENSION ???????????????????????  
hansolbling: wonwoo i trusted you  
mEmeBoiXx: shrugg  
dad: wait what the fuck  
mom2: cheol  
dad: sorry babe  
dad: **heck  
dad: oh  
dad: oh hi chan  
channie: hi !! seungcheol right ??  
dad: ye aup its me  
thesun: that was such a dad thing to say e w  
dad: excuse me  
dad: do u want to be grounded  
thesun: n O IM SORRY  
dad: thought so  
callmesoon: AnYwa y  
callmesoon: channie introduve urself !!  
channie: oh right !!  
channie: so, im chan, im 17, and im asexual homoromantic, which is the reason im living w soonyoung atm  
jihoon: oh hey another person on the asexual spectrum  
jihoon: hi im jihoon, im demisexual, and youre watching disney channel  
thesun: gas P  
thesun: DID JIHOONIE  
thesun: JUST MAKE A JOKE  
thesun: N O  
thesun: NOT A JOKE  
thesun: HE MEMED ??????? thesun: MARK YOUR CALENDARS KIDS THIS SHOULD BE A NATIONAL HOLIDAY  
jihoon: seokmin shut the fuck up  
jihoon: i hate you so much  
thesun: nOoOoOooOooOoO u love me ;^))))))))))))  
jihoon: ,,  
jihoon: yeah maybe  
thesun: :'))))))))))))  
whataretissues: e w  
haohao: lmao mingyu u and wonwoo are literally exactly the same except wonwoo is less tsundere  
jihoon: excuse me what did you just call me  
haohao: shr u g g  
mom2: ANYWAY  
mom2: hope soonyoung's making you feel at home, chan  
booyoncé: omg jisoo stop u sound like an actual mom  
channie: yea living here is p great !!! better than my parents house tbh  
channie: and soonyoungs super nice too so  
channie: he lets me sleep in his bed ???  
channie: i didnt ask to sleep in his bed though !!  
channie: i just  
channie: he offered and he wouldnt stop offering so i just said yes  
princeofchina: soonyoung omigod  
callmesoon: whoop s ???? callmesoon: whA T I CANT MAKE MY GUESTS COMFORTABLE??????  
princeofchina: you literally pressured him into sleeping in your bed  
channie: no it was fine !!!! really !!  
callmesoon: ye A SEE JUNHUI IT WAS FINE UR NOT ALWAYS RIGHT  
princeofchina: chan are you sure you dont want to to move in w me n hao  
channie: ye a its ok  
channie: ive gotten used to soonyoung  
callmesoon: h a take that u bastards  
callmesoon: aN Y WAY chan and i need to have dinner so goodbye bitches  
mom2: please don't set anything on fire again  
channie: wait, again ???  
channie: should i be worried ???  
callmesoon: jISOO COM E ON WHYD U HAVE TO BRING THAT UP  
mom2: i'm sorry!! just wanted to make sure you're being safe!!  
whataretissues: actually  
whataretissues: do yall wanna come over  
whataretissues: i made too much food  
hansolbling: can it feed 20 people bc thats literally how much we eat  
whataretissues: actually,,,,yea  
thesun: holy s hi t mingyu how much extra food did u make  
whataretissues: idk i was stressed just come over  
callmesoon: wo O EVERYONE CAN ACTUALLY MEET CHAN THIS IS GREAT SEE U GUYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive realized that chan never sent a picture of himself to them and everyone else only knows what he looks like bc of soonyoung ,,,so i guess chan's just rolling w it


	3. honestly idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help idk what im doing  
> i might just post a bunch at once bc i keep adding to this in my notes ????? and i want to get all of it up on here someday.   
> also this chapter kind of really sucks sorry

callmesoon: YALL WASNT THAT GREAT  
thesun: HES EVEN CUTER IRL  
jihoon: seok you literally said this 40383937 times to him at mingyu and wonwoo's place  
thesun: a w is lil jihoonie jealous :'))))))))))  
jihoon: shut up  
channie: ,,,,,,thank you  
angelmom: channie whose baby are you ??  
channie: jeonghans,,  
callmesoon: hA N U GOTTA STOP  
angelmom: never chan is my baby  
mom2: does that mean he's mine and cheol's baby too  
angelmom: obviously  
channie: wait so do i now have two moms and a dad  
booyoncé: ye a   
hansolbling: welcome to the family  
haohao: we're a giant mess pls forgive   
channie: lol its ok i am too  
thesun: whA T NO CHANNIE U R PERFECT IN EVERYWAY  
channie: oh ,,,,,,,,sure  
booyoncé: hOO BOI R U NOT BELIEVING SEOK  
booyoncé: WELL U BETTER BC SEOKS WORD IS LAW  
channie: aa im sorry !!! yes i believe him  
callmesoon: whAT THE FUCK U GUYS R TERRIBLE TO HIM CHANNIE COME HERE  
mEmeBoiXx: what  
princeofchina: are you guys actually cuddling rn  
channie: well,,,  
channie: i walked over and he pulled my into his lap and started running his fingers through my hair  
callmesoon: guy s hes blushing :')))))))))  
channie: i aM NOT BLSUHING OMIGOD SOONYOUNG  
channie: st o P   
callmesoon: he left my lap :'(((((((((  
whataretissues: ,,  
whataretissues: wonu why cant we be like that  
mEmeBoiXx: we already are like that what do u mean  
whataretissues: tru  
callmesoon: wo a h my dudes we arent even dating  
channie: plus soonyoungs not ace   
haohao: wait chan u only date ace people ??  
channie: what ??? no of course not !!  
channie: but idk i just dont see somebody who isnt ace dating someone who is  
channie: why would they want to ??  
channie: wouldnt that be complicated ??  
jihoon: i don't know it depends how much they love you really  
jihoon: i can't say anything for sure since i'm not ace but really if they love you enough whether you wanted to have sex or not wouldn't matter  
channie: o h,,,  
channie: ok thanks jihoon !!  
angelmom: a w my baby learned something new today how cute  
angelmom: chan u know i love u right  
channie: yea jeonghan i do  
angelmom: excuse me  
channie: i mean  
channie: yea mom i know you love me  
angelmom: there we go  
mom2: han pls  
mom2: he's a child  
channie: im 17 !!!  
thesun: yea,,,,child  
booyoncé: yea chan ur basically a toddler  
haohao: seungkwan ur literally only a year older than him  
booyoncé: shshshshhshshshh  
hansolbling: o shit im not the youngest anymore  
hansolbling: thanks chan  
channie: ,,,,,uhm,,,,,ur welcome ???

 

[chat without chan, to talk specifically abt chan]  
callmesoon: GUYS HELP  
haohao: deep sigh  
haohao: what  
callmesoon: SO CHAN ADJUSTED REALLY FAST  
callmesoon: WHCIH IS GOOD I GUESS  
callmesoon: BUT NOT GOOD RN  
callmesoon: AT LEAST NOT FOR ME  
callmesoon: BC HES WEARING ONE OF MY SHIRTS  
callmesoon: AND ITS BIG ON HIM  
callmesoon: AND HES WEARING JUST BOXER BRIEFS  
callmesoon: AND HES LYING ON HIS STOMACH READING A BOOK  
callmesoon: AND HIS BUTT IS REALLYCUTE GUYS HE LLLLL PPPP  
jihoon: did you literally just text us about chan's ass  
callmesoon: DONT CALL IT AN ASS ITS TOO CUTE FOR THAT  
thesun: GO OVER AND KISS HIM  
thesun: THATS WHAT I DO WHENEVER JIHOON WEARS MY CLOTHES  
jihoon: seoKMIN I SWEAR TO GOD  
callmesoon: DUDE WE'RE NOT DATING  
callmesoon: I MEAN I WISH WE WERE BUT WE'RE NOT  
haohao: just calm ur gay self down  
callmesoon: excuse u im pansexual  
callmesoon: and ready to mingle  
callmesoon: with chan  
callmesoon: but seriously what do i do  
angelmom: just go along w ur day  
angelmom: yea his butt is probably really cute bc hes really cute but yknow  
angelmom: stay strong little one  
booyoncé: is his butt cuter than mine  
callmesoon: to me, yes  
callmesoon: to hansol, probably not  
hansolbling: soON YOUN G  
callmesoon: shrrug

 

[back to the 13 member chat]  
channie: hey,,,  
channie: do any of u watch anime  
haohao: we all do but some more,,,,intensely than others  
thesun: HAIKYUU  
thesun: HAIKYUU  
thesun: HAIKYUU  
thesun: HAIKYUU  
jihoon: seokMIN SHUT U P  
thesun: ,,  
thesun: haikyuu  
channie: !!!!!!  
channie: haikyuu !!  
thesun: gas P  
thesun: HAIKYUU !!  
channie: whos ur favorite   
thesun: hMmmMm  
thesun: so many bro so many  
thesun: but  
thesun: probaby hinata or bokuto  
jihoon: well you are basically a mix of the two  
thesun: GAS P  
thesun: DOES THIS MEAN THAT JIHOONIE IS AKAASHI  
thesun: DEAR SWEET AKAASHI ????  
channie: wait that really does fit tho  
jihoon: to be honest im ok with that  
jihoon: he looks super done with 'bokuto-san' most of the time  
jihoon: i can relate  
channie: jeonghan is obviously suga  
channie: and jisoo can be enno  
channie: but jisoos a lil too nice for enno  
channie: maybe yama ??  
channie: guys i really love ennoshita,,,,,  
haohao: damn me too  
princeofchina: tbh me too  
channie: :00 can we have an ennoshita chikara appreciation club  
whataretissues: Y E S   
whataretissues: let me join  
whataretissues: wonu likes shiratorizawa's shirabu more so im breaking up with him  
channie: well i love shirabu too  
channie: hes like a less intense setter version of kyoutani   
channie: sort of  
jisoo: asahi appreciation club anyone??  
hansolbling: actually,,,,me  
booyoncé: yO U ????? HANSOL VERNON CHWE ??????  
hansolbling: ye a   
hansolbling: i also really like terushima tho  
hansolbling: his piercings are cool  
haohao: is that the only reason u like him  
hansolbling: ,,,,,,maybe  
haohao: lmao  
callmesoon: hey minghao  
haohao: oh god  
callmesoon: have you ever realized  
callmesoon: that ur name rhymes w lmao  
callmesoon: if u say it like 'luh-maow'  
haohao: i hate you so much  
channie: how did we go from haikyuu to soonyoung making a stupid joke  
callmesoon: channie im hurt :'(((((((((( that was a great joke  
channie: ,,,,,,sure   
booyoncé: o oO IS CHAN SASSING SOONYOUNG WHAT A SIGHT I AM SO PROUD  
dad: guys what the fuck its literally 3 am why are you talking about anime and sassing  
channie: wait its 3 am ????  
callmesoon: ch A N GO TO SLEEP  
angelmom: BABY GO TO SLEEP  
mom2: channie please get enough sleep  
channie: omg guys stop  
channie: ill go to sleep ok ???  
angelmom: ok good  
mom2: goodnight everybody!!  
channie: goodnight moms, dad, etc  
callmesoon: hey channie why didt i get my own goodnight :'((((((  
channie: goodnight soonyoung  
callmesoon: :')))))))))))

mEmeBoiXx: hey soonyoung didnt you tell me chan liked to dance  
callmesoon: o yea !!  
channie: what  
channie: soonyoung pls  
mEmeBoiXx: anywa y is he good ??  
callmesoon: idk we havent danced at all  
princeofchina: wha t   
princeofchina: hao get ur ass out of bed we're visiting these two  
haohao: what why   
princeofchina: they havent danced since chan got here  
princeofchina: so they havent danced in like 3 1/2 weeks  
haohao: oh  
haohao: move im queer and i dance and i need to force these other queers to dance  
haohao: jun ur coming with  
princeofchina: lol u say that like it was ur idea  
haohao: shut ur mouth wen junhui  
princeofchina: make me ;;;;;;^^^))))))))  
booyoncé: ,,  
booyoncé: jun you somehow always make the atmosphere really uncomfortable  
princeofchina: its a gift  
booyoncé: sure  
callmesoon: Owah holy shit howd u guys get here so fast  
haohao: something called a car soonyoung  
haohao: you would know if you actually left your crusty apartment once in a while  
callmesoon: at least i left and found chan  
thesun: whOo hes got u there hao  
haohao: fuck off  
thesun: fUCK ON  
haohao: i hate you all so much  
princeofchina: even me ?? :00  
haohao: especially you  
princeofchina: :^((  
callmesoon: whatever just come in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> abt the chan n soonyoung cuddling thing-in my point of view, thats p fuckin platonic besides the blushies part bc i would and do do that w my friends and there is 0 romantic attraction between us so   
> but they still like each other so i guess this is kind of pointless goodby e


	4. a ChriStMas mIracle !!1!!1!1!1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iT hAPpEned

callmesoon: ok ???? so ?????  
callmesoon: chan & i ???? just had a kind of super long heart to heart ????  
callmesoon: and now ???? hes sleeping on my chest ?????  
callmesoon: hes super fucking warm ?????  
callmesoon: oh yeah hes also my boyfriend now thats a thing  
booyoncé: whA T  
thesun: y O SOON U GOT TE BOY  
callmesoon: i GOT THE BOY !!!!!!  
callmesoon: iTS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE  
callmesoon: o shit our anniversary is on christmas hoOOooOoO shit  
princeofchina: after a month and a half of pining good for you soonyoung  
callmesoon: shut ur face junnie  
angelmom: i bet you anything chan made the first move  
mEmeBoiXx: he did didnt he  
callmesoon: ,,,,  
callmesoon: maybe  
whataretissues: pfft  
callmesoon: shHu tu p

callmesoon: lmA o so channie n i were over at jihancheols place and i was spooning channie who was talkin to han and i was so very ok w it bc i am the bestest of boyfriends and han is so in love w cheol n jisoo its not even funny and channies hair smells really good and yhen han goes 'channie whose baby r u' and chan literally tuRNS HIS BACK TO HAN AND STARTS TALKING TO ME DJDHSKBDI LOVE THIS BOY  
angelmom: hey chan  
channie: oh fuk c  
mom2: chan!!!  
channie: sorry mom **hek c  
angelmom: ,,  
angelmom: actually idk im in a good mood just dont do it again  
booyoncé: holy shit what  
channie: !!! thank u !!!!  
booyoncé: why does chan get off easy  
angelmom: bc hes my baby  
booyoncé: >:^(((((((

callmesoon: 3 attachments  
callmesoon: channie forced me out of the house so seok and i went out and got caprisuns  
jihoon: you guys are 19 and 20 years old  
jihoon: what are you doing  
callmesoon: drinking our caprisuns  
thesun: without you  
haohao: ??? whyd he force you out  
callmesoon: bc he thought he was 'stealing me' from u guys and that i cant hang out w just him forever  
whataretissues: and you agreed ???  
callmesoon: only after he told me to like 93638638273 times  
channie: soonyoung seriously you cant just hang out w me all the time  
channie: thats not fair  
haohao: no chan please keep him  
callmesoon: but i loOoOooOoOove you :^((((  
channie: i know but you should hang out with your other friends too  
callmesoon: ok :'((((((((((  
mEmeBoiXx: lmao it sounds like chans the one thats 3 years older not soonyoung  
callmesoon: excuse u i am very mature  
haohao: 5 minutes ago you sent pictures of you and your friend drinking caprisuns  
callmesoon: mature. 

callmesoon: channie im ur favorite right  
channie: ,,,  
channie: if i say yes jeonghan will kill me  
angelmom: hes right  
callmesoon: >:^((((((

mEmeBoiXx: i realized that chan and soonyoung started saying i love you to each other super early into their relationship  
mEmeBoiXx: while it took me n mingyu around 6 months to even get out the word love  
thesun: ff it took me and jihoonie like 8 months bc hes a shy lil poot  
jihoon: lee seokmin excuse you  
thesun: ur not good w showing affection bby u get all fidgety n blushy ur so cute  
jihoon: shut up  
thesun: see

thesun: i just read a bunch of hanahaki disease au fics and now i want to throw up flowers  
thesun: do you think if i swallow flowers ill throw them up and i can tell everyone i love someone who doesnt love me back  
jihoon: seokmin what the actual fuck  
haohao: this is why you dont let seokmin read au fanfics  
thesun: but theyre so good !!!  
thesun: especially soulmate aus holy shit i l o v e soulmate aus  
channie: tbh me too  
mEmeBoiXx: chan ??? you too ???  
channie: what ?? i mean  
channie: i want a tattoo that represents soonyoung  
channie: it would be like ,,,,,,,  
channie: honestly idk what my tattoo would be hes so many things at once  
thesun: w oA h wo a H WO Ah wOA h hold up  
thesun: chan  
thesun: you really love soonyoung that much ???  
channie: shit wait is that bad ??? that i think we're 'soulmates' in a sense ???  
callmesoon: no its really fucking cute  
channie: o fuc k  
channie: i mean  
channie: hi soonyoung how are you  
mEmeBoiXx: you guys are so lovey dovey skshskdhodufoej  
mEmeBoiXx: mingyu come here theyre making me want cuddles  
whataretissues: what ok  
callmesoon: anyway  
callmesoon: i love you too channie  
callmesoon: my soulmate :')))))))  
booyoncé: e w ur so cheesy  
haohao: sickening  
callmesoon: whatever hes blushing so fuck u  
angelmom: chan gets flustered really easily ive noticed  
channie: its my fatal flaw  
callmesoon: what do u mean channie u have no flaws  
booyoncé: by e jc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how r ur guys christmases/eves ??? for our 'feast' we just had home made mashed potatoes, hamburg steak, caprisun((that my dad poured into glass cups yes this is my life)), and a yule log cake so sweet it made my head hurt. tbh this years christmas doesnt feel like christmas ??? idk maybe its bc we didnt decorate this year but i hope u guys had a good christmas !!  
> ((also this was posted two minutes before the 25 let me live pretend their anniversary is xmas))


	5. cA t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update like 10 minutes after the last one bc im impatient hello

channie: so soonyoung brought back a stray cat he found at the same park he found me  
callmesoon: gUYS THAT PARKS MADE OF MIRACLES  
thesun: hoLy shIT SEND ME  
A PICTURE OF THE KITTY  
callmesoon: yOU KNEO IT  
callmesoon: 4 attachments  
callmesoon: ONE OF JUST THE CAT AND THREE OF CHAN AND THE CATBC THEYRE BLTH SO CUTE FUCK ME  
haohao: can i come over  
callmesoon: for the cat ??? why yes of course  
haohao: actually we're out of food and i dont want to go to the grocery store and neither does jun  
haohao: but yea ill meet the cat  
mEmeBoiXx: wait cat what where  
mEmeBoiXx: sOONYOUNG IM COMING OVER RIGHT JOW MINGYU COME ON LETS GO  
whataretissues: babe u know im a dog person  
mEmeBoiXx: kIM MINGYU GET UR ASS OVER HERE  
whataretissues: fine  
whataretissues: for u  
mEmeBoiXx: :^)))))))))))  
callmesoon: guyys i cant handle all this cute  
callmesoon: chan a. n d a cat ???????  
callmesoon: im going yo burst into tears  
callmesoon: this is the purest thing i have ever witnessed  
channie: im actually more of a dog person but shes just so cute ,,,,,,,  
angelmom: no chan youre a puppy person  
channie: dog  
angelmom: puppy  
channie: dog  
angelmom: what kind of person you are reflects in what animals you like in my opinion so youre a puppy person  
channie: puppies are just baby dogs !!!  
angelmom: exactly  
channie: ,,,,  
haohao: we're here w the tall avocados  
whataretissues: when will our suffering end  
mEmeBoiXx: we're friends with soonyoung it wont end until our friendship with him does  
callmesoon: hes right  
jihoon: why are you guys texting arent you in the same room  
princeofchina: oh right

angelmom: hey chan whens ur birthday  
callmesoon: FEBRUARY 11 1999  
channie: yup  
thesun: oshI T WE GOTTNA START PREPARING FOR THE PATRY  
channie: what party ??  
callmesoon: uR HIRTHDYS PARTYD OF COUSRE  
channie: guys its in nearly two months  
channie: and jisoos birthday is on the 30 this month  
channie: and seungkwans birthday is in january  
channie: we still have birthdays before mine to celebrate  
whataretissues: /slides in/ chikaras birthday is also on the 26 of this month /slides back out/  
channie: oh right !!  
thesun: w E MUST START PREPSING AS EARLY AS WE POSSIBLY CAN  
callmesoon: mY BAHY DESERVE SONKY THE EST  
channie: ,,,,  
channie: han why did you ask anyway  
angelmom: oh well actually i had the same thoughts as those two idiots  
angelmom: we cant miss my babys birthday now can we

callmesoon: chan has the cutest hips ever no one can fight me on this  
haohao: and no one will  
mEmeBoiXx: guessing they really did force you guys to dance ???  
princeofchina: wonu that was ages ago get w the program  
princeofchina: but yes we did  
callmesoon: and i made an amazing discovery  
whataretissues: shut up we already know and again, no one is going to fight you about chans hips  
callmesoon: good  
channie: theyre just hips ????  
callmesoon: cute hips  
channie: hips  
callmesoon: cute hips  
channie: hips  
callmesoon: cute hips  
channie: hips  
callmesoon: cuTe hI P S  
jihoon: oh my god would you stop spamming me for one second i have a test tomorrow  
jihoon: you live in the same apartment there is no need to flirt over text  
callmesoon: shit hes right  
callmesoon: chAnn i e ~~~~~!!!!!!  
channie: jihoon why  
channie: i can hear him running down the hall save me  
princeofchina: sorry kid ur on ur own  
channie: fuk c

callmesoon: y O KIDS I GOT A PEIRIN  
whataretissues: a what  
callmesoon: A PIERCING YOU SWINE  
haohao: its hard to tell when your spelling is that bad  
dad: only 95 liners can call the others kids know your place soonyoung  
callmesoon: soz dad but i gOT A PIERICNG  
jihoon: im ecstatic.  
thesun: wAIT EEALLY SEND  
callmesoon: THA MM Y IU SEOK FOR ALWYAS HAVING MY BACM I LOVE U BRO  
callmesoon: also here  
callmesoon: 2 attachments  
thesun: i LOVE YOU TOO HRO  
thesun: WOW WHAT THE FRICKILE FRACK THATS A COOL PIERCING  
haohao: its literally just a stud seokmin  
thesun: yEA BUT IT WILL EVOLVE INTO SOENTHIG BETTER SOONER OR LATER  
haohao: i give up goodbye  
channie: just going to let you all know that i had to hold his hand while he got it pierced  
channie: my hand still hurts  
callmesoon: chANNIE I CANT BELIEV OU WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THAT  
callmesoon: i dIDNT HOLD IT. THA T HARD  
channie: you did  
callmesoon: iNS ORRY WOULD YOU LIKE A SORRY KISS  
channie: not a sorry kiss just a regular one  
callmesoon: reGualR KISS COMJG. RIGHT UP WEEOWOO  
channie: thank u  
mEmeBoiXx: chan how do you deal with him  
channie: you kind of get used to it  
whataretissues: anywa y  
whataretissues: chan do u want to be my model for a photoshoot  
channie: ????  
whataretissues: its a really laid back one i promise  
whataretissues: probably lots of big sweaters, fairy lights, etcetc  
channie: oh well then yes  
channie: but why me ???  
channie: wouldnt like,,,,,,,,jihoon fit that better  
jihoon: lee chan excuse me  
channie: s h i t nevermind i said nothing im innocent  
callmesoon: cAN I WATCH IT BE MADE  
whataretissues: ill give you the photos when we're done  
callmesoon: kIM MINGYU I WOULD AY UR THE LOVE OF Y LIFE BUT THATS LEE CHAN SO I WILL SAY U R THE SECOND LOVE O MY LIFE THANK U  
whataretissues: whatever chan can you come over now  
channie: if i can detach soonyoung from me then yea  
callmesoon: n o channie dont leave me :'((((((((  
whataretissues: do you want those photos or not soonyoung  
callmesoon: go ahead sweet boyfriend have a nice day  
channie: be right over !!

callmesoon: chan comes back home in a giant sweater and circle wire rim glasses with mussed up slightly curly hair kim mingyu thank you for your service you may now be at rest  
whataretissues: i know thats a lie but thank you good sir  
callmesoon: fkdhkdhd i cant wait for the photos  
callmesoon: omigod di you guys have him wear flower crowns please tell me you had him wear flower crowns  
channie: ,,  
channie: maybe  
callmesoon: fZuVK YE A  
channie: the photoshoot was really fun tho  
whataretissues: what are you gonna do w the pictures anyway soonyoung  
callmesoon: cry over how cute they are  
callmesoon: maybe hang them up w fairy lights bc my baby deserves it  
callmesoon: yknow  
callmesoon: the usual  
whataretissues: ,,  
channie: soonyoung pls dont hang them up in our apartment  
callmesoon: yOU CANT STOP EM  
channie: chris t

thesun: what if we were all in the atla universe  
whataretissues: more aus ???  
thesun: no i was rewatching the whole series wow i love sokka  
angelmom: toph and katara are possibly the most badass fictional teenagers i know  
princeofchina: but,,,,,,,touka ????  
mEmeBoiXx: everyone but hinami in tg is in college or older u fuck  
princeofchina: isnt ayato like 15 or smth  
mEmeBoiXx: ,,,,,,,maybe  
princeofchina: h A fuck off jeon wonwoo  
mEmeBoiXx: in the later series hes 18  
princeofchina: SH U T  
thesun: OK BUT ATLA UNIVERSE  
thesun: I CALL AIRBENDER  
thesun: i wOULD RIDE ARIUND ON AIR SCOOTERS ALL DAY  
callmesoon: WOW ME TOO  
callmesoon: also the gliders look really fun dkdkdnd g l i d e r s  
haohao: i feel like han would be an airbender too but tbh he has the potential to be all four  
angelmom: a w hao u think i qualify to be the avatar how sweet  
haohao: no i meant all four individually  
angelmom: ,,  
whataretissues: o shit who would be avatar  
callmesoon: cHhannie  
booyoncé: soonyoung ur only sayin that bc hes ur bf  
callmesoon: n o channie is so talented and has 20/5 potential he could totally be the avatar  
channie: what  
channie: honestly ive always wanted to be an earthbender  
channie: bc it also means metalbending  
channie: two bending skills in one  
hansolbling: idk man nobody wants to be a firebender bc EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED but ,,,,,fire powers man  
booyoncé: e w get away from me nasty filth  
booyoncé: earth or water n o t fir e y u ck cant believe u hansol  
hansolbling: let me live  
booyoncé: and why ever would you think i would do that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk seokmins a mess im a mess pls enjoy this while i doggy paddle through this ocean of tears
> 
> yea so i havent read the tg manga and i only know abt 18 yr old ayato bc of his wiki page thingy


	6. i lIKE BANANAS INT RHSNSUSHINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore the chapter title 
> 
> also yall r so nice what the fri c k u put me in such a good mood i love ur comments thank u

mEmeBoiXx: mingyu come here  
whataretissues: arent you in the shower  
mEmeBoiXx: yes  
angelmom: thERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT  
angelmom: JEON WONWOO YOU GIANT FUCK  
mom2: wonwoo please  
dad: conTROL YOUR DAMN SELF  
booyoncé: 95 line swoopin in for  
the kill  
booyoncé: someone get this on snapchat  
hansolbling: this is a chat  
booyoncé: shut the fuck ur face choi hansol  
hansolbling: ,,,  
jihoon: jeon wonwoo i did not need that this early in the morning  
princeofchina: jihoon its 12  
jihoon: wen junhui do you value your kidneys  
princeofchina: never mind

thesun: hE y jihooniEEeEeEeEeeeeE  
jihoon: what  
thesun: can we get chicken ????? <33333333  
jihoon: yeah sure  
thesun: :00c  
thesun: is jihoonie in a good mood :^DD ???????  
jihoon: possibly  
thesun: hdkshjsZhfkhsksKGJSKDHSJ  
thesun: dOE STHIS MEAN. WE CNAM HAVE CUDDLES  
jihoon: we cuddle every day seokmin  
thesun: HDJSHSKDHSKDKSHDJ  
thesun: I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<333<33333333333<33  
jihoon: i love you too  
thesun: iM SOBIGIGN THANK YIU  
haohao: what

thesun: 5 attachments  
thesun: GUYS I REALLY LOVE LEE JIHOON OK ????????????  
jihoon: when did you take those  
thesun: whEN YOU WERENT PAYIN ATTENTION I MANAGED YO TAKE SOME PICTYTES OF ART  
callmesoon: CHANNIE IS CUTER I CAN BET U ANYTHING  
thesun: whAT THE PADDLE WHACK NOW Y NO KNE IS CUTER THAN JUHOONIE  
callmesoon: 3 attachments  
callmesoon: lOOKA Y THIS !!!!!!!!!!  
thesun: 4 attachments  
thesun: lO OK AT HOWCUTE MY BOYTIGRND IS  
callmesoon: HE SCUTE BUT HANJIES CUTER  
thesun: LIE S  
jihoon: guys shut the fuck up holy hell  
channie: ,,,  
channie: why are you guys fighting over whos cuter  
callmesoon: bC SEOK THINKS JIHOON IS CUTER YHAN U WHICH IS NOT CORRCET  
thesun: brCAUSE SOON TIINKS UR CUTER THAN JIHOON AND CHANNIE I LOE U BUT JIHOON IS A LIL OTYER CIILD I LOVE  
jihoon: did you just call me an otter  
thesun: y ES YOU CERY JUCH RESENBELE AN OTER UR SO CUTE  
jihoon: are you done  
thesun: nO IM COMIG OVER  
jihoon: we live in the same apartment  
thesun: t K UR ROOM THEN  
jihoon: fine whatever  
thesun: HDLSHKSJDKDBJD  
callmesoon: channie u agree w me right ur cuter than jihoon  
channie: ,,  
angelmom: jihoon is cute but he has a nasty personality  
angelmom: channie is cute and has an adorable personality  
angelmom: chan wins  
callmesoon: y ES I HAVE A MOTHER ON Y SUDE  
jihoon: fuck you too jeonghan  
princeofchina: hao is cuter than the both of you combined you fucktards  
thesun: exCUDE ME ????????  
callmesoon: we N JUNGUI U HANSDOME BATARD  
haohao: why did you pull me into this mess  
princeofchina: bc ur cuter than chan and jihoon combined obviously  
mEmeBoiXx: guys can this not turn into 'my boyfriend is cuter than yours' im already sick of this  
callmesoon: r u not gonna scream abt mingyu  
mEmeBoiXx: i already know hes cuter than all of you so i dont need to state it in the chat  
thesun: ,,  
princeofchina: shut ur mouth jeon wonwoo  
mEmeBoiXx: if you dont shut ur little whore mouth rn i stg wen junhui i will shove a traffic cone so far down your throat you'll be shitting out orange triangles for the next 10 years  
princeofchina: ,,,,  
haohao: holy shit wonwoo  
haohao: congratulations you have now earned my deepest respect  
mEmeBoiXx: thank you

dad: oh yeah soonyoung what happened to that stray cat you picked up a few weeks ago  
callmesoon: o u mean yehi ??? shes doin great  
whataretissues: why yehi  
callmesoon: idk i think i was thinking of yetis and then i just switched out a letter  
haohao: why were you thinking about yetis ,,,,,,  
callmesoon: idk man  
channie: yehi is the purest thing on this earth i love her  
callmesoon: chan ur wrong on this one  
channie: ???  
callmesoon: u r the purest thing on this earth  
channie: ,,,  
booyoncé: e w  
callmesoon: hhAhshhsgaahHAHAHHAHA HE SOS RED FJDJSKHSJJ  
channie: sto p hdjdhjshsisru ur terrible soonyoung  
hansolbling: chan whyd you even blush  
hansolbling: that made me want to regurgitate every meal i ever remember eating  
channie: i get flustered really easily we've been over this hansol  
booyoncé: pls dont we live in the same apartment i am no t cleaning that shit up

thesun: i lIKE BANANAS I LIKE BANANAS IN THE SUNSHINE SUNSHINE SUNSHINE ABANANA  
thesun: I LIKE ABNANAS I LIKE BANANAS ON THE MOON  
thesun: MOOB MOKN MOON  
thesun: YES I LIKE DANISNOTONFIRE FIGH T EM  
haohao: who doesnt like dan and phil  
mom2: uncultured swine  
princeofchina: omg jisoo  
mom2: what it's true  
hansolbling: he right  
thesun: o K BUT GUYS HAVE U EVER HEARD LEE JIHOON SING THATSONG W HIS CUTE LIL VOICE DKDSJDHSKHDKDHDKDHSKJDIDDI LOVE MY BOYFRIEND  
angelmom: well have you ever heard hong jisoo sing a ballad to you with his soft angel voice while playing the guitar  
angelmom: i think not  
dad: i have  
angelmom: cheol shhh this is another round of 'my boyfriend is better than urs'  
haohao: o H NO ITS NOT  
mom2: I AGREE  
mom2: ENDING THIS RIGHT NOW  
mom2: THIS HAS BEEN A MOM DECISION  
mom2: NO 'my boyfriend is better than yours'  
mom2: NO MORE  
thesun: yes mother  
angelmom: but jisoo !!!  
mom2: NO BUTS!!  
angelmom: i can still touch urs right  
whataretissues: ,,,,,  
haohao: by e jc that was terrible han  
angelmom: excuse me  
haohao: no im not apologizing that was the truth  
angelmom: >:00

callmesoon: iM SOBBIGN  
callmesoon: iM ACTUAL IN TErs  
hansobling: what happened  
callmesoon: MINGYU GAVE ME THENLHOTOS FROM THAT PHOTOHOOT HE DID W CHAN A WHILE BAK  
haohao: oh  
haohao: so nothing important  
callmesoon: xUMINGHAK SUT UE FACE THESE ARE SO UVKIGJN CUTE  
mEmeBoiXx: im surprised youre even texting us rn why arent you hugging and kissing chan w everything u have like u usually would  
channie: im not home atm  
channie: i went out to get some stuff and soonyoung stayed home bc mingyu told him he was coming soon  
whataretissues: i had to go over and give him the pictures  
whataretissues: wonwoo didnt even come bc he knew what a mess soonyoung would be  
callmesoon: chANNIE WHEN R U COMIG HOME  
channie: idk maybe ,,,,10-15 minutes ???  
callmesoon: JFHSKDHKDHDKDJDN  
callmesoon: huRR Y  
channie: ok yea im heading home now see u in a bit soonyoung  
callmesoon: FOJDHDJDKDJFK  
callmesoon: CHANJIE  
channie: ???  
callmesoon: ARE THOSE UR FOOTSTEPS I HEAR  
haohao: what the fuck how do you hear his footsteps  
callmesoon: I HAR GOOD EARS SHUT UP HAO  
channie: yea probably ???  
callmesoon: HAHSKSHDJDD  
channie: are you actually waiting at the door  
callmesoon: YE S  
channie: wait let me put my phone away for this  
haohao: chan are you ok  
haohao: what did he do to you  
channie: yea its all good  
channie: he mostly just hugged and kissed me a lot and showered me w compliments and hes still going ?????  
channie: soonyoung pls  
callmesoon: i will never stop ur so damn cute what the fuc k  
channie: the pictures did come out really nice tho thanks mingyu  
whataretissues: :^))))  
callmesoon: bLESS UR HEART KIM MINGYU

mEmeBoiXx: what if i was kermit for halloween next year  
whataretissues: then i would definitely break up with you  
princeofchina: he'll probably be a dead meme by then anyway halloweens a long while away  
thesun: rip kermit  
angelmom: hao dont you have a kermit tea hat  
haohao: oh yea junnie got me a kermit tea cap for my birthday  
haohao: reason we're dating tbh  
thesun: im sorry all i can think of rn is jihoonie in a kermit tea hat shsksbdjsjsbd  
jihoon: seokmin what the fuck  
thesun: im going to buy u so many caps just u wait  
jihoon: why do you buy me stuff all the time  
thesun: bc u r a sweet child and u deserve it all and also i like buying u things bc u look really cute in e v e ruthing  
hansolbling: jihoon ???? a sweet child ????  
thesun: he totally can be u just havent seen that side of him  
jihoon: and you probaby never will choi hansol  
hansolbling: fri ck  
jihoon: anyway seok i just wear your clothes all the time so it doesn't really matter  
thesun: u cant exactly wear my jeans can u  
jihoon: ,,  
jihoon: well i can wear everything else  
thesun: then let me buy u jeans  
jihoon: ,,,fine  
thesun: :^)))))))))))  
thesun: and food !!! bc u forget to eat sometimes jihoonie pls take of urself  
thesun: and if i could buy u sleep i would pls sleep u need to be healthy  
thesun: ur songs can wait a lil ok ur health is more important  
jihoon: ok  
jihoon: love you  
thesun: i love you too sweet jihoonie !!!!!!!  
angelmom: cheol jisoo our kids r so cute look @ seokmin taking care of devil child jihoon  
dad: seokmin is a surprisingly good boyfriend  
thesun: ??????? suRPrisiNgL Y??????  
angelmom: he got his caring side from jisoo  
mom2: is seokmin next in line as group mom  
mom2: do i need to start training him  
booyoncé: that would mean jihoon would be group dad n o thanks  
jihoon: i'd rather not be 'group dad' thanks very much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yehi is pronounced 'ye-hee' kids honestly idk i just really want a cat
> 
> also i read somewhere that jihoon orders chicken when hes in a good mood so  
> ive been in a very seokhoon mood lately so upcoming chapters may have a lot of seokhoon
> 
> note: the kermit tea cap is an actual thing and i actually have one ??? u can get it on amazon just search up 'kermit tea cap' if u feel like walkin around w a meme on ur head
> 
> be the meme my children


	7. send help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unneccesary amounts of fall out boy in this chapter im so sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feast on this u dirty vultures
> 
>  
> 
> im sorry ur all beautiful

callmesoon: 1 video  
callmesoon: iMXRYIG LOOK !!!!!!!!  
haohao: who is that  
callmesoon: bABY CHAN !!!!!!! DANCIN TO LUCIFER !!!!!!!!!!!!  
channie: sOONYOUNG WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND THAT  
callmesoon: UR LIL BROTHER SENT IT TO ME  
channie: jESUS CHRIST  
mEmeBoiXx: chan has a brother ???? also soonyoung how do you know his brothers number  
callmesoon: o ye i was lookin thru channies phone and i found a contact whose name was just (ง'̀-'́)ง and i was like 'channie whos this' and he said it was his lil brother so i saved the number onto my phone and started talking to him and now we talk abt chan a lot  
mEmeBoiXx: wow ok  
callmesoon: 1 video  
callmesoon: hE HUST SENT ME THIS OMLL  
channie: i swEAR TO GOD SJSHSK  
channie: I REGRET GVING YOU THE PASSWORD TO MY PHONE WITH MY WHOLE BEING  
callmesoon: iM CACKLING I LOVE UR BROTHER

booyoncé: i JUST SEARCHE UP TRYPOPHOBIA AND WENTTO IMAGES SAVE ME  
thesun: KWANNIE NO  
booyoncé: THE FUCKING WIKIPEDIA SAID IT WAS A FEAR OF IRREGULAR PATTERNS OR SOMETHIG I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE  
callmesoon: KwAN IM SO SORRY DO YOU WANT SYMPATHY FOOD  
booyoncé: YES HOLY FUCK  
mEmeBoiXx: i actually threw up after seeing the photos  
mEmeBoiXx: had to save up for a new computer  
mom2: wait what  
mom2: whats trypophobia  
mom2: it's not even a word ???  
mom2: wait a sec i'm searching this up  
thesun: JISOO NO  
booyoncé: MOMMY NO DONT GO OUT THERE  
angelmom: JISOO BABE HOLY FUCK  
dad: JISOO  
callmesoon: J I S O O  
mom2: ..  
mom2: help  
angelmom: ???????  
mom2: i'm gonna cry that was terrible why did i do that that was so stupid of me my skin is tingling help hannie cheollie help me pl e a se  
angelmom: a W W DHJSGSKDH BABY WE TOLD YOU NOT TO COME HERE  
dad: are we going to hans room  
angelmom: yes jisoo is in need of support  
mom2: help  
booyoncé: mom im so sorry  
thesun: r u ok  
mom2: idk  
mom2: that really fucked me up  
mom2: sorry whoops **messed  
mom2: you know what whatever it did fuck me up trypophobia doesnt deserve my kindness  
angelmom: u go jisoo  
channie: wait whats trypophobia  
callmesoon: CHANNIE NO  
callmesoon: LEE FUCKING CHAN I AM LYING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU DO NOT SEARCH IT UP UNLESS YOU VALUE YOUR LEGS  
callmesoon: YOU WONT BE ABLE TO DANCE ANYMORE  
channie: but whats so bad about it ,,,  
callmesoon: CHANNIE PLS TRUST US DONT SEARCH IT UP KEEP YOUR MIND PURE  
channie: o k omigod  
callmesoon: THANK U

thesun: ITS COURTNEY BITCH  
callmesoon: RAT A TAT TAT RAT A TAT TAT TAT HEY  
whataretissues: R U READY FOR ANOTHER  
mEmeBoiXx: BAAD POEM  
thesun: ONE MORE OFF KEY ANTHEM  
hansolbling: AND LET UR TEETH SINK IN  
callmesoon: REMEMBER AS I WAS NOT AS I AM  
whataretissues: AND I SAY  
mEmeBoiXx: ILL CHECK IN TOMORROW  
thesun: IF I DONT WAKE UP DEAD  
booyoncé: SH U T U P  
booyoncé: IF UR GONNA SING TEXT AT LEAST DO A GOOD SONG  
thesun: THATS A FUCKING GREAT SONG WYD  
whataretissues: THEB  
whataretissues: CALL ME  
mEmeBoiXx: MR BENZEDRINE  
callmesoon: BUT DONT LET THE DOCTOR IN I WANNA BLOW OFF STEAM  
thesun: AND  
hansolbling: CALL ME  
whataretissues: MR BENZEDRINE  
thesun: BUT DONT LET THE DOCTOR  
callmesoon: DONT LET THE DOCOTR INNNNNN  
mEmeBoiXx: I THOUGHT OF ANGELS  
hansolbling: CHOKIN ON THEIR HALOS  
princeofchina: GET THEM DRUNK ON ROOOOSE WATER  
thesun: SEEE HOW DIRTY I CAN GET THEM PULLIN OUT THWIR FRAGILE TEETH  
hansolbling: AND CLIP THEIR TINY WINGS  
callmesoon: ANYTHING U SAY CAN AND ILL BE HELD AGAINST U  
princeofchina: SO ONY SAY MY NAAME  
mEmeBoiXx: IT WILL BE HELD AGAINST Y  
thesun: ANYTHING U SAY CAN AND WILL E HELD AGAINST U  
hansolbling: SO ONLY SAY Y NAAAAAAAAAMR  
whataretissues: IF HEVENS GRIEEEF  
thesun: BEINGS HELLS RAIN  
callmesoon: THEN ID TRADE ALL MY TOMORROWS  
princeofchina: FOR JUST ONE YESTERDAY  
haohao: wen junhui shut the fuck up and go to sleep  
haohao: that goes for the rest of you as well  
callmesoon: is hao next in line for group mom instead of seok ??? the world may never know  
haohao: shut up  
dad: go to sleep kids i feel like waking up before 12  
thesun: k dad  
whataretissues: ,, gn

callmesoon: i really like looking at lee chan wow  
haohao: is that why i caught you staring at his lips while he talked yesterday  
callmesoon: yes  
dad: do you ever realize that seokmin is a really cheesy but good boyfriend  
thesun: hE Y DAD WHATS GOOD  
thesun: THNAKS MAN  
dad: ur welcome son  
whataretissues: chAN CAN I JUST SAY UR HAIR COLOR RN IS SO PRETTY DJHDKDHKAJS  
channie: thank u ???  
channie: tbh u looked really good w the blonde hair  
whataretissues: WOW THANK YOU BLESSED  
channie: also i got a job at a bookstore nearby and this one guy keeps hitting on me???  
callmesoon: whA G  
thesun: WHAT  
booyoncé: HWAG  
angelmom: WHAT  
dad: WHAT  
channie: ive told him im in a relationship and i dont think he believes me ??  
callmesoon: WHAT  
channie: he just told me i have 'the cutest laugh'  
callmesoon: whAT THE FUCK ONLY I CAN SAY THAT  
callmesoon: nOT SLEAZY LITTLE KIDS WORKING AT BOOKSTOEES  
callmesoon: lET ME GO WITH YOU TO WORK TOMORROW  
channie: what sure ??  
channie: it'll probably convince him that i have a boyfriend  
channie: what i want to know is how he knew i was gay  
haohao: he probably didnt  
haohao: just went for it anyway  
channie: yea he seems like the type

thesun: jihoon is so cute what the fuck  
angelmom: i think thats the best spelling ive seen from you in a while whats up seok  
thesun: idk i just reaLLY LOVE MY BOYFRIEND DKSHSKDBJDNDJ  
thesun: WHATS GREAT IS THAT WE CUDDLE ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN HES MAD  
thesun: ITS EVEN BETTER WHEN HES MAD BC HES ALL POUTY AND HIS LIK EYRBORWS ARE FURROWED AND HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGRY LIL TEDDY BEAR HES SO CUTE JDBSKSBSKDNKDBDJ  
channie: in other news  
callmesoon: i weNT W CHAN TO THE BOOKSOTRE AND WE RIPPED OUT THE SLEAZY FUCKS HEART AND STEPPED ON IT  
mom2: !! what???????  
mom2: chan what actually happened  
channie: we just kissed and cuddled and acted like a couple and now the guy keeps giving me sad looks and shooting glares at soonyoung  
callmesoon: i doNT EVEN CARE SONT HIT ON MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND BICYH  
haohao: why dont you tell that to him instead of us  
callmesoon: im in a bookstore im not gonna yell FUcK Y IY in a bookstore  
callmesoon: it would probably get chan fired too  
channie: thanks soonie  
callmesoon: no problem mY boyfriend :')))))))))))))

callmesoon: U ARE WHAT U LOVE  
princeofchina: NOT WHO LOVES YOU  
thesun: DOES THIS MEAN IM JIHOONIE  
thesun: hel LY E A h  
callmesoon: a W SHIT IM CHANNIE  
callmesoon: IM SO CUTE ???????????????????  
channie: guys pls

callmesoon: channie n i went to a high school football game and now its raining  
channie: honestly i dont even care watching the players slip around and try to catch the ball is extremely amusing  
angelmom: where did my baby go  
haohao: its bc ur a bad influence hannie  
angelmom: lmao true  
callmesoon: we'rE FeTtinG AlL WeT tHis is Not Ide aL  
callmesoon: the only good part abt this is that i can feed channie kettle corn  
channie: you couldve done that wo being in the rain ????  
callmesoon: channie babe let me find something good about this shitshow  
thesun: pull him into your lap and if anybody gives you weird looks its ok bc he'll sucker punch them in the gut  
whataretissues: thats just you and jihoon  
thesun: chan could sucker punch someone in the gut  
channie: i could ???  
channie: i mean  
channie: yea totally  
callmesoon: that'll probably get us thrown out  
channie: at least we'll be able to go home  
callmesoon: o shit u right channie punch someone  
channie: what  
channie: why dont u do it  
callmesoon: i am but a weak noodle pls save me  
channie: says the person that literally danced out of his mothers womb but fine  
angelmom: LEE CHAN EXCUSE YOU  
angelmom: go for it bby knock someone out  
mom2: jeonghan!!  
haohao: lmao go channie  
callmesoon: iM ALUGHIGN CHANJIE JUST PUNCED SOMEONE I. THE STO ACH AND GRABBED MY ARM AND KOW WE'R ESONICIG YHROUGH THE CROWD TO MY CAR  
whataretisses: HOU SHIT  
thesun: OKGOD GOGOGOGO  
callmesoon: WE MADEMIT WO GETTIN ARTESTED  
mEmeBoiXx: why would you get arrested for punching someone in the stomach  
callmesoon: idk high school sucks  
channie: that was really satisfying im glad i did that  
channie: probably wouldnt do it again tho  
channie: im just glad this isnt my school  
callmesoon: im glad that i remembered to grab the kettle corn before we left  
haohao: of course you are

 

thesun: can we just take a moment to appreciate lee jihoon  
haohao: no  
thesun: w o w  
thesun: what do u have against jihoonie  
haohao: idk im feelin salty  
princeofchina: and im the target of 99% of his saltiness  
callmesoon: prayin for u my bro  
thesun: soonyoung i thought u and i were bros DDDD:  
callmesoon: n O bro im sorry u will always be my main bro  
thesun: thanks bro  
callmesoon: ur welcome bro  
jihoon: jesus fucking christ  
jihoon: that actually caused me physical pain  
thesun: a W jihoonie where do u want me to rub it  
jihoon: ,,  
whataretissues: ive wanted to ask this for a while but  
whataretissues: jihoon why do you like seokmins stomach so much  
whataretissues: like ur always rubbing and poking it ???  
thesun: jihoonie just turned his phone all the way off and dropped it into our bowl of popcorn,,,  
haohao: lmao  
mEmeBoiXx: seokmin do you know why he does it ???  
thesun: i dont !! i just enjoy it and dont question it bc thatll make him stop doing it  
thesun: jihoon initiating physical touch is the best thing u dont even know  
thesun: when he plops himself into ur lap and pretends like its no big deal dksbkshdsbektoejsurueb  
mEmeBoiXx: and lets end that right there goodnight folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so - i have no fucke n idea how to link things on this site ??? so if u want to find the videos of chan dancing u can just search up 'predebut dino dancing' on youtube. the ones i 'used' were the lucifer one and the michael jackson one((both filmed in the same place)). once i figure it out ill actually link the stuff  
> edit: nvm here are the titles:   
> video 1 - Predebut Chan (Dino) dancing to Shinee's Lucifer  
> video 2 - 110221 Predebut Chan/Dino
> 
> also i have no idea how old chans brother is so he could be like 5 yrs old or smth but just for this pretend hes a reasonable age  
> also his name originally was a bomb ass emoji but ao3 sucks
> 
> the football game thing is based off of my sisters marching band performances bc they always did it on the football field and sometimes it would rain ??? they also sold kettle corn and hot dogs n shit so yea  
> ive never actually been to any of the schools football games tho
> 
> can i just say - this fic doesnt really follow 'real time' ??? the only thing that correlated w pacific time is the part where chan n soonyoung got together. but there are decently big time skips between each chat so just,,,,yea. its 2017 atm for them, how nice


	8. DOO DOO DOODOODOODOODOODOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW 2017

callmesoon: YALL I GOT SOME NEWS  
thesun: U MEAN WE GOT SOME NEWS  
princeofchina: HELL YEAH WE FUCKEN DO  
haohao: just tell us  
whataretissues: DRUMROLL PLEASE  
thesun: DUNUFNDUNDDNDUDNDUDNDUDNDUN  
callmesoon: WE'RE GOIN TO VEGAS BABY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
jihoon: what  
mom2: all of you, explanation now  
thesun: OK SO  
thesun: a few years ago soon n i were like 'damn i wanna go to vegas w everyone' and we decided that we would save up enough money so all of us could go  
callmesoon: yea so we started working extra hours and getting random jobs and selling shit  
thesun: then we accidentally told jun and mingyu our plans  
thesun: so they joined in so it would be easier to save up  
callmesoon: and when channie joined us we realized it would be more money to save up  
callmesoon: but i did a bunch of extra jobs and pretended i always worked that much  
thesun: and now we have enough moneyfor all 13 of us to go to vegas !!!  
mom2: you guys saved up for how many years???  
callmesoon: uHhHH around ,,,,,,3 maybe ???  
haohao: WHAT THE FUCK  
haohao: YOU SAVED MONEY FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS SO ALL OF US COULD GO TO VEGAS ????  
thesun: yea boi :^))))  
haohao: WEN JUNHUI HOLY FUCK GET OVER HERE  
princeofchina: rip me  
princeofchina: hao just kissed me until i was dizzy lol rip  
jihoon: seokmin you're kidding  
thesun: no my luv !!!!!! we saved up enough money for all of us !!!!  
dad: kids holy shit  
mom2: i'm about to cry you guys are so thoughtful???  
angelmom: what the fuck our kids are nicer than me  
mEmeBoiXx: ??? wait seriously ?????  
thesun: yea !!  
whataretissues: it was a struggle to keep it from all u guys but it obviously paid off :^))))))))  
mEmeBoiXx: i am so in love with you my hardworking baby come here  
whataretissues: :^DD  
booyoncé: SEOKMIN GUYS HOLY SHIT DJDHKSBSKSJDKDN  
hansolbling: VEGAS BABY O FUCK YEA  
booyoncé: I JUST KISSED FUCKING CHOI HANSOL  
booyoncé: WE'RE GOIG TO GODDAMN VEGAS  
hansolbling: SUNGJWAN JUST KISSED ME WE'RE GIING TO VEGAS  
angelmom: vegas brings people together yall  
channie: wait  
channie: wait what  
channie: soonyoung normally doesnt work that much ????  
channie: oh thank god  
callmesoon: my bby !!!!!  
channie: soonyoung ,,,,,  
channie: chrsi t i cant even ??????  
channie: you worked over time for all of us ???  
callmesoon: for u my love  
channie: i actually have no words ????? thank you ???? omigod ?????  
callmesoon: :')))))))))))))))))  
dad: when are we leaving ???  
thesun: vegas is kind of a big thing so we havent booked anything yet  
whataretissues: we thought it would be better to choose the airplane and hotel w u guys  
princeofchina: and choose all the stuff we're going to do together  
mom2: i love you guys so much thank you  
thesun: we love u too mommy !!!!  
jihoon: come over to our apartment  
jihoon: we can sort out the stuff here  
thesun: yea !!!  
callmesoon: all rightie 

booyoncé: GUYS IM SO READY FOR THIS TRIP DKSHSKDHEJ  
mEmeBoiXx: OFHSKSNARE WE REALLY GONNA SEE CIRQUE DE SOLEIL FKDHKDHD  
whataretissues: YES MY BBY YES  
mEmeBoiXx: AM I DREMAIG  
jihoon: honestly i'm pretty excited??  
thesun: :'00  
thesun: JIHOON IS BLOSSOMING IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHERS IM SO  
jihoon: it's vegas seok who wouldn't be excited  
thesun: LOSERS  
jihoon: exactly  
callmesoon: KDJSOSPDKDNSKDS  
channie: im sO excited u dont even know  
angelmom: look @ my baby bein all excited for vegas  
angelmom: but me too hiOY SIT WE'RE GOIGN TO VEGAS  
dad: be responsible though kids  
dad: no clubbing please vegas is dangerous  
dad: stay in groups  
thesun: OO ARE WE ASSIGNING GROUPS  
thesun: I CALL JIHOON  
jihoon: we were going to be together anyway you dork  
thesun: FOR SAFETY MEASUERS  
callmesoon: ME N CHANNIE  
channie: im cool w that  
angelmom: so soonchan and seokhoon in a group together ???  
jihoon: excuse me what  
angelmom: ur ship names !!!  
callmesoon: a W WWW SOONCHAN THATS SO CUTE JSJSKSH  
thesun: IM LIVING THE DREMA  
angelmom: jihancheol will be a group w meanie  
princeofchina: what whos meanie  
angelmom: mingyu n wonwoo  
angelmom: we used to call wonwoo mr. beanie remember  
haohao: shudders  
angelmom: and verkwan and junhao can be a group !!  
booyoncé: are hansol and i verkwan  
angelmom: yes my dense child  
booyoncé: JFJSKSHS  
thesun: wait r we bookin 6 rooms for each couple/triple  
callmesoon: probs ???  
whataretissues: each couple has a room but the groups stay together outside the hotel rooms yea ???  
haohao: cool  
mom2: ok kids go to sleep we can talk more about this later  
thesun: gn everyone !!!  
booyoncé: have sweet vegas dreams !!!!!

callmesoon: besides all the vegas stuff  
callmesoon: fishnet stockings and mom jeans are fuken hot on everyone  
angelmom: soonie ur pansexual is showing  
callmesoon: fuckin great mom  
thesun: fishnet stockings ???? and mom jeans ???????  
thesun: sign me the fuck up  
princeofchina: tbh i would wear those  
haohao: we all would  
mEmeBoiXx: i just searched it up and i have never found fishnet stockings sexy until today  
angelmom: ikr i associated fishnet stockings w strippers and pole dancers n shit but now ????  
angelmom: livin for this  
jihoon: seokmin i know what you're thinking  
jihoon: do NOT buy me fishnet stockings and mom jeans  
thesun: HOW DID U JNOW  
jihoon: we've been dating for 6 years seokmin  
thesun: BUT UD LOOK SO GOOD IN THEM  
jihoon: no i would not  
thesun: ye S YOU WOULD MY HUNNY  
jihoon: seokmin  
thesun: yes my love ???  
jihoon: don't  
thesun: :^(((((((((((  
thesun: :::::::^^^^^((((((((((((  
jihoon: ok so maybe i want to try them too  
jihoon: buy that shit babe  
thesun: hOLY FUCKEN  
thesun: IM SO HAPPY N THANK U JIHOONIE  
thesun: I LOE U  
thesun: UR GONNA LOOK SO GOOD IM CRYIGHG  
thesun: aND U CALLED ME BABE IN THE GROUP CHAT ?????!:&@:)0:&  
thesun: THIS IS TE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

callmesoon: 2 attachments  
callmesoon: my stunning, stunning boy  
channie: soonyoung plS  
channie: lE TME LIVE  
channie: yOURE SO EMBARASSITJFHSIDJS  
callmesoon: :'))))))))))))))))))

callmesoon: lEE CHANNIS SUCHNA FLRIT DINT TOCU H ME  
callmesoon: WHERE DJD MMT SHY BAHY GO  
channie: :^)))))))  
angelmom: this is all my fault and i dont even care chan is blossoming  
callmesoon: fuZkc Y OU JEONGHANS DNDKDJD

mEmeBoiXx: crispy fries deserve to burn in hell  
mEmeBoiXx: soft squishy fries all the way  
princeofchina: squishier than hao's ass ?? i think not  
haohao: everyone ignore him and me as well we live in the same apartment the murder wont take long dont expose me  
callmesoon: i would never  
mEmeBoiXx: destroy him haohao  
haohao: gladly  
mEmeBoiXx: anyway  
mEmeBoiXx: i hate crispy fries  
whataretissues: thats my im here  
whataretissues: to eat them all for u  
callmesoon: mingyu u r trA SH  
callmesoon: WHO EATS C R I S P Y FRIES  
booyoncé: WAGT  
booyoncé: HVE U EVEN TRIED A CRISPY FRIE BEFORE SOONYOUNG  
callmesoon: I HAVE  
callmesoon: IT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE  
booyoncé: WELL THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE WAS WHEN I ATE A SOFGY PRIE U BASTARD  
callmesoon: U WANNA FITE  
booyoncé: HELL YEA TIME AND PLACE SQUARE UP BITC H  
callmesoon: PARK WHERE I FOUND CHANNIE  
callmesoon: 8 PM  
booyoncé: UR ON ASSWIPE  
angelmom: beat his ass kwannie  
callmesoon: MOTHER WH Y  
booyoncé: FUCK YEA  
booyoncé: U KNOW I WILL  
callmesoon: THE GODS HAVE LEFT ME  
callmesoon: I HAVE NO AID  
channie: cough  
callmesoon: CHANNIE !!!1!!1  
callmesoon: WILL U BE MY ONLY AID IN THIS FIGHT TO TJE DEATH W SEUNGKWAN  
channie: sure  
channie: someones got to be there to film your death, yea ???  
callmesoon: BETRAYED  
callmesoon: HEARYBROKEND  
callmesoon: U KNOW MY NAME BUT NOT MY DTORY YOU DICKHEADS  
callmesoon: channies the cutest dickhead ive ever seen but  
callmesoon: FCU K U

[ chat wo soonyoung, to talk about soonyoung ]  
channie: soonyoung looks really fuckin ggood today help me  
angelmom: watch ur language son  
channie: mom now is not the ti m e  
channie: my boyfriend looks bea t i fu l rn  
channie: im trying not to combust in the cafe  
thesun: would u combust if u were outside the cafe  
channie: probably bc the sun would accentuate his features and light up his skin and he would look even better  
angelmom: wow son ur whipped  
channie: totally and completely  
whataretissues: what is he wearing that has u all shookened  
channie: ill kindly ignore that last word and say that hes wearing a kinda big black hat and he has his piercing in and his outfit is just s o good and he looks s o stunning u dont even know  
channie: his hair is blending into his hat why is that so charming whywhywhywhy  
whataretissues: wow u really are in deep  
channie: idk how to crawl out of this soonyoung pit but then again do i really want to  
channie: o shit he just asked me why im on my phone gotta blast

[ still the no soonyoung chat wow ]  
channie: why are soonyoungs eyes so pretty  
channie: why  
channie: why did his parents do this to me  
channie: how could he do this to me  
channie: hes terrible  
channie: i love him  
channie: i love his eyes  
channie: his eyes are so cute  
channie: dkshskjdksbd  
haohao: whyd u make this chat anyway channie he always cries abt u in the big gc  
channie: if he knew i was praising him like this i would never hear the end of it  
haohao: lmao true

[ back to the one w all of them whoop ]  
thesun: 1 attachment  
thesun: i was scrolling through y camera roll and found this gEM  
whataretissues: what  
thesun: the first time jihoonie called me babe through a text :')))))))))))))))  
jihoon: seokmin are you actually shitting me  
jihoon: why did you even screenshot that  
thesun: its a precious moment !!!!  
thesun: i love it when ur open n affectionate kahskdjkfndodd it does things to my heart i love u  
jihoon: god fucking dammit  
jihoon: you're so embarrassing  
thesun: a w W W WW JIHOON IS SUCH A BRILLIANT SHADE OF RED RN HES SO CUTE SKSHSKBDKDHSKHSHSKSHDJDIDJSBSJDHSJDHDJHDKSJSKDJDKD  
thesun: DONT TOUCH MY BOYFIRNDD IM GOINF TO MARRY HIM AND WE'RE FOINF TO DRIVE INTO THE SUNSET AND BUY A HOUSE IN THE BAHAMAS AND LIVE A WONDERFUL LIFE AS A MARRIED COUPLE  
thesun: WE'LL HAVE TWO KIDS BC JIOONIE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THREE AND WE'LL E THE BEST FAMIY  
thesun: HE GOT EVEN MORE RED SOMEHOW KDHSKBSSNLAJSHA  
angelmom: are our kids getting married before us cheol jisoo this is an important matter  
dad: thats not allowed kids no marrying until ur parents have gotten married  
thesun: a w :'((((((((((((  
thesun: can i defy u just this once parents ???  
angelmom: ,,  
dad: lol sure kid go ahead  
thesun: gAs p  
thesun: jk i havent even gotten the ring yet but juST U WAIT KIDS SOMEDAY  
jihoon: you're kidding  
thesun: IDK MAYBE I AN IF U WANT ME TO BR KIDDING THEN SURE BUT IF U DONT I WILL CRY BC THAT MEANS U WANT TO BE MY HUSBAND SKSHSKFHKSNS  
jihoon: christ

booyoncé: onE WEEK TILL VEGAS BABY WOOOooOoOoOo  
callmesoon: M&M SOTRE HOLY FUCK Y  
haohao: is tht all you care about  
callmesoon: YES  
mEmeBoiXx: tbh me too  
whataretissues: of course  
whataretissues: me too  
whataretissues: maybe they'll have a recipe book or smth  
whataretissues: anything m&m is a yes  
mEmeBoiXx: does this mean i get to watch you make them and be covered in flour and wear an apron and we can be super domestic  
whataretissues: yes  
mEmeBoiXx: :^))))))))))))))))  
mEmeBoiXx: lookin forward to it babe  
princeofchina: u guys r sickening find a room  
callmesoon: junnie ur turning into hao w the 'sickening's  
princeofchina: at least ill be cute as fuck  
haohao: excuse you  
princeofchina: hao ur so cute im not even lying u can be badass but when ur mad ur so cute when u do anything ur so cute i love everything abt u  
callmesoon: and haohao is g o n e kids hes been annihilated by wen junhui everybody  
princeofchina: my work is done 

mEmeBoiXx: WE ARE NUMER ONE  
callmesoon: DOO DOO DOODOODOODOODOODOO DOO DOO  
callmesoon: DOODOODOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOODOODOODOODOO  
princeofchina: was that supposed to be the instrumental  
callmesoon: yes  
thesun: WHERES THE LAMB SAAAAAAAAAYUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCECEEEEEEEEEE  
callmesoon: can u shut the fuck up for like 30 seconds  
thesun: GORDON TAMSAY BROS  
callmesoon: GORDON RAMSAY BROS  
haohao: you guys only know those two lines dont you  
thesun: yup  
callmesoon: indeed  
thesun: well we know 'idiot sandwich' but everyone knows that  
princeofchina: i wish i was still in high school so i could send the we are number one sheet music to our teacher  
callmesoon: hey seungkwan ur still in high school right send it to ur band teacher  
booyoncé: fuck u hansol n i arent in high school anymor  
callmesoon: dkdhdkdbjehesb  
callmesoon: my meme dreams have been shattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YEA VEGAS !!!!!!  
> i went to vegas a few years ago and honestly it was s o fun and i really want to go back skdhskdh  
> their vegas adventures will mainly be based off mine tbh  
> idk if cirque de soleil is still a thing currently or if theyre doing the same one i watched still but we can pretend they are yea ??
> 
> also i never call things hot but fishnet stockings and mom jeans are h o t please search it up
> 
> also seokhoon marriage ???? ohohoohohohohohohoohhohohhoho  
> we are number one is the jam to my jelly fuck u  
> should i send the orchestra we are number one sheet music to my teacher 
> 
> also 98 liners would be 18 here in america so yea seniors probably  
> and chan isnt going to school anymore whoops  
> EDIT: LMAO GUYS I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH IF SEOKHOON HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 6 YEARS THAT MEANS THEY STARTED DAYING WHEN SEOKMIN WAS LIKE 13 I FORGOT HOW OLD THEY WERE DKDHDOHEDH  
> well in this seok&hansol are gonna spend their birthdays in vegas so by then seokmin'll be 20 right  
> so  
> yea prepare for whats comin up kids  
> another edit: FUCK i just realized hansol and seungkwan wouldnt be in high school fucK ME im very sorry pls forgive i dont think things through beforehand  
> lmao i fixed it bc i also realized that by going to vegas they would be skipping like a week of school so yea nobodys in school anymore  
> college ???? whatever im too lazy


	9. vegas kind of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WANT TO CRY THANK U SM FOR 100 KUDOS !!!!!!!!!!!  
> I WASNT EXPECTING MY FIRST FIC TO BE THAT SUCCESSFUL I ????????????  
> YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET AND WONDERFUL AND YOUR COMMENTS MAKE MY DAY HOLY LORD THANK UOU SM  
> i wasnt planning on updating bc i havent had many ideas lately but i wanted to thank you guys

haohao: agreeing to go the mall with wen junhui was the worst decision of my life i swear  
callmesoon: hao u know how long it takes uve even gone w him before whathow  
haohao: he bribed me into it by saying i would be able to get him chokers  
haohao: and i agreed even though i knew he wouldve bought them for himself anyway  
whataretissues: wow ur in deep kid  
haohao: kim mingyu i will personally sprint to your apartment and strangle you to death and frame your boyfriend   
whataretissues: pls dont wonu is pure  
mEmeBoiXx: 'pure' lmao

princeofchina: i love princessmei sm  
princeofchina: almost as much as i love hao  
princeofchina: and thats saying a lot  
booyoncé: b OI YES PRINCESSMEI IS MY SH I T  
princeofchina: SHES SO CONSIDERATE SHE ONLY USES CRUSLTY FREE MAKEUP AND DOESNT SHOP AT SWEATSHOPS DJDSJD  
booyoncé: AND EVERYTHING ABT HER IS JUST B O MB AS HELL  
princeofchina: I HPPE SHE WEARS FISHNET STOCKINGS AND MOM JENAS   
booyoncé: THANK Y VERY KICH

thesun: GUYS JIHOONIES NOT ON HIS PHONE THIS IS MY CANCE  
mEmeBoiXx: ???  
callmesoon: what is it my bro  
haohao: you couldve just made a chat wo him  
thesun: no thanks ANAHAY  
thesun: i lowkey((hig h ke y)) want to lik  
thesun: yknow  
haohao: spit it out  
thesun: idK I WANT TO KIKE BUT A RInG AND OROPSOE TO JOHOONIE BUT IDK   
callmesoon: hOLY SHTI  
callmesoon: DO TI  
thesun: BUT WEVE ONLYBBEEN DATING FOR 6 YEARS IS THAT OK  
angelmom: hon  
angelmom: buy that ring  
thesun: IDKFJJDKDHDKDHSKD  
thesun: i loVE HIM SM HE IS MT BAB T ANS I LOVE HIM BUT WOUL HE ACCPE T IDK HOW DI PEPPLE GO THROUGH W THIS  
dad: seokmin you guys have been dating for 6 years  
dad: thats a pretty fucking long time  
dad: jihoon wouldnt be able to put up with anybody for that long if he didnt love them  
thesun: LFJSOHDPDHD  
thesun: IDK IM JUST  
thesun: LEURORBDKDJA  
mEmeBoiXx: seok if you love him enough that youre even thinking of proposing then you should  
mEmeBoiXx: whats the worst that can happen  
thesun: HE COUKD REFUSE AN JOTHINGSOULD BE THE SAME AND I WOULD BE LONELY FORVER BC I DONT THINK I CAN LOVE SOMEONE AS MUHC AS I DO KIHOONIE ????????  
thesun: LFJDODJIDHES SO  
thesun: YEAH IM GONNA DO IT  
thesun: IM GONNA FUCKEN BUT THAT RING  
thesun: HOLY SHIT SHOULD I PROPOSE IN VEGAS   
callmesoon: HOLY SHIT YE S  
thesun: HOW AM I GONNA GET IT WO HIM FINDING OUT HES SO CLEVER HES LIKE A LIL FOX I LOVE HIM  
mom2: aw that's so cute seokmin!! want me to hold the ring for you??  
thesun: YES LOTHER PLS  
thesun: CAN SLMEONE COME W ME TO BUY IT I NEED A SECOND OPINION AND MORAL SUPPORT  
callmesoon: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE  
booyoncé: M E   
thesun: YES BOOSEOKSOON   
haohao: wont jihoon be able to see these once he checks his phone  
thesun: FUC K DELTE HIM FROM THE CHAT  
thesun has deleted jihoon from the chat  
thesun: PHEW   
thesun: WHAT IF E ASKS KAHDKH MAKE A NEW CHAT W HIM

thesun has added dad, angelmom, mom2, princeofchina, callmesoon, mEmeBoiXx, jihoon, whataretissues, haohao, booyoncé, hansolbling, and channie  
thesun has named the chat LFHSODHND  
thesun: OFYSOHDJD  
thesun: KDHSKHD  
thesun: LDHSOAHKAHS   
angelmom: wow great decoy seokminnie  
thesun: SHHHHHSHHSHSHSHSHHHHSHSHHH  
thesun: HE MUST KOT JKNOW  
jihoon: what  
thesun: nOHIGN  
jihoon: ???  
angelmom: dont even bother 

callmesoon: VEGAS TOMORROW IM SCREIN G  
thesun: AAAAAAKDJKDJDKFD  
thesun: THE FISHNET SOCKINGS AND MOM JEANS CAME JUS IN TIME FOR VEGAS DJDHKEHDKSHDKDJKSHDKSHDJDHKSHDNDKDHSHSKDHDJ  
thesun: IM SO RE A DY  
booyoncé: MT BODY IS READY  
hansolbling: for what  
booyoncé: whY DID thAT SOUND SUGGESTIVE IN MY HEAD FUCK YO U  
hansolbling: seungkwan we're dating it doesnt even matter ???  
booyoncé: fcUKC Y OU  
channie: soonyoung have you packed yet  
callmesoon: uh  
channie: soonyoung !! you wont be able to just throw things into your suitcase tomorrow morning  
channie: come here we can pack together  
callmesoon: oo ok  
jihoon: seokmin have you seen my passport  
thesun: yes my luv its on our bed  
jihoon: oh cool thanks  
channie: soONYOUNG BY PACKING TOGETHER I MEANT PACKING TOGETHER NKT KISSING  
callmesoon: EVERYTHING WITH YOU HUST MEANS KISSJNG  
mEmeBoiXx: MINGYU WHERE ARE YOU YOU HAVENT PACKED JACK SH H IT   
whataretissues: HELP I MIGHT BE LOST  
whataretissues: wait nvm google maps lmao  
mEmeBoiXx: IM THROWIN RANDOM UNDERWEAR INTO YOUR SUITCASE GET HOME   
whataretissues: FFSHSJAKALFJ  
princeofchina: are chokers necessary for vegas  
princeofchina: yes  
haohao: yes  
princeofchina: :::::^^^^^)))))))))))  
mom2: jeonghan please pack  
angelmom: dkdhdk too lazy  
mom2: jeonghan  
angelmom: jisoo :^(((((((((((  
mom2: jeonghan i will throw out our strawberry milk supply  
angelmom: and im up ill pack just dont hurt the milk  
mom2: thank you  
mom2: cheollie have you got everything packed???  
dad: almost   
dad: jisoo we're in the same room why did you text me ???  
mom2: eh  
mom2: soonyoung what about yehi  
callmesoon: oh yea i came out to my parents and they were real cool abt it and now chan is their second son so they agreed to take care of yehi while we're in vegas  
thesun: hOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS  
thesun: UR PARENTS R GREAT  
callmesoon: iKR ???????? THE BEST  
callmesoon: MY SISTER KEEPS FAWNING IVER HIM EHICH ISNT FAIR HES M Y BOYfRIEND  
mom2: go to sleep soon guys ok we need to wake up early in time for the flight  
thesun: yes mother  
callmesoon: sweet dreams !!!!!  
booyoncé: V E G A S

thesun: IM CRYING BEGAS   
jihoon: seokmin we're all sitting next to each other in the airport was that necessary  
thesun: YE S

[ chat wo jihoon ]  
booyoncé: bitch have u got the ring  
thesun: uh  
thesun: jisoo ???  
mom2: yeah i have it don't worry!!   
thesun: thank fuk c  
mom2: don't worry seokminnie i'll keep it safe for you :^))  
thesun: thanks mommy

[ chat w everybody ]   
princeofchina: WHERE ARE YOU FCUKErS THE PALNE IS LEAVING IN 5 MINUTES  
callmesoon: HOLY SHIT WHAT  
mEmeBoiXx: MINGYU HURRY IP  
whataretissues: IKOKOKOKOK  
thesun: R U N

callmesoon: OMIGOD I CANT BELIEVE wE MADE IT  
thesun: DLSHKSHD  
dad: phones away kids airplanes abt to take off  
booyoncé: SEE YALL IN VEGAS

princeofchina: WE'RE IN BEGAS I  
callmesoon: I JUST KISSED THR GOUND  
callmesoon: V E G A S  
channie: kwon soonyoung pls dont kiss me w dirty vegas airport ground lips  
channie: gdi  
thesun: JSLSHKSEHJS  
thesun: IM 20 AND IN VEGAS HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY ME  
hansolbling: IM 19 AND IN VEGAS AND DATING SEUNGKEAN DKDBKDHDOSHKDB  
thesun: WHERES JE CAB  
haohao: we're gonna need like 5 cabs  
whataretissues: why is there so many of us  
dad: text us when you get to the hotel ok ??  
dad: everyone who gets here early stays in the lobby  
thesun: good plan dad  
callmesoon: tO PALAZZO

callmesoon: YALL WHAT THEFUCK THIS IS BEAUTIFUL  
channie: soonyoung has run around the expanse of our hotel room at least ten times  
callmesoon: IM HAVING HE TIME OF MY LIFE  
thesun: THE BEDS R SO SOFT  
thesun: BUT WHY R THERE TWO LMAO   
callmesoon: SWITCH BEFS EACH DAY  
thesun: GOOD IDEA  
thesun: JIHOONS ALREADY ASLEEP HES SO CUTE SLSHIAHSJSHSJ

[ chat wo jihoon ]  
thesun: IM SO FUCKEN READY TO PROPOSE BUT ST THR SAME TIME NOT REALLY ??????  
angelmom: when are you planning on popping the question seokminnie :00  
thesun: IDK PROBABLY TOMORROW JIGHT ????????????  
thesun: AUGH WHAT IF HE SAYS NO  
dad: he wouldnt and we all know that  
thesun: KDHOAHEORUSJBXKDH  
mom2: hold on seok  
mom2: have you asked jihoon's parents about this  
thesun: yes !!!!! they were v supportive thanks @ jihoons parents  
mom2: and you do realize how young you guys are  
thesun: ye a i thought abt that but im 20 now so ,,,,,idk i feel like i xcant wait yknow ????   
thesun: well be responsible mommy   
thesun: promise  
mom2: ok seokminnie :^))

[ chat w everyone ]  
princeofchina: YALL I FEEL LIKE GOING TO SLEEP SO DONT BE FUCKING EVH OTHER INTO OBLIVION K ?????????  
princeofchina: COOL THANKS GN  
callmesoon: u say that like all of us have sex  
callmesoon: ASEXUALS EXIST U DIRTY FUCK  
channie: soonyoung pls  
callmesoon: im sorry im just vERY ASSIONATR ABOUT THIS SUBJECT  
callmesoon: MAINLY BC MY BF IS ACE  
callmesoon: LOV U BOO  
channie: i love u too soonie <33  
booyoncé: EXCUSE YOU IM THE INLY FUCKIN BOO HERE WATCH YOUR LABGUAGE YOUNGMBA  
callmesoon: SHUTNUPN IM OLDER THAN YOU SEUNGKWAN  
princeofchina: SHUT THE FUCK UP HAO AND I ARE TRYING TO SLEEP  
mom2: come on guys you know what happened last time let them sleep  
callmesoon: shit ur right gn kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls watch princessmei shes so  
> i love her so much
> 
> also can u imagine junhui in chokers im abt to cry


	10. idk how to title this one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aa im so sorry about updating so late !!! school started about 2 weeks ago and i havent had much inspiration :^(( if this chapter sucks thats probably why sorry babes

[ chat wo jihoon ]  
thesun: IM PUSHING THE PROPOSAL TO THE DAYWE GO I THE M&M SOTRE  
booyoncé: BITCH HW Y  
thesun: bC IM FUCKEN SCARED AS HELLL THATS WHHY YOU ASSBDJDHKSDH  
booyoncé: AT THIS RATE YOU ARENT GONNA BE PROPOSIN THIS YEAR LET ALONE IN BEGAS  
thesun: IHEOEHDSKSOIF  
thesun: IVE NEVER BEEN MORE NERVOUS IN MY LIFE THIS SUCK S ASS  
mom2: seokmin that's fine  
mom2: proposing is a big deal  
mom2: take your time, it really doesn't have to happen in vegas, no matter what soonyoung tells you  
thesun: IFKDTHANKS MOM  
callmesoon: BUTJISOO A VEGAS PROPOSAL WOULD E SO COOL !!!!!!!!!!!!  
mom2: yes it would, soonyoungie, but where the proposal happens won't and shouldn't change someone's answer  
callmesoon: MmMmMmMmmmi gue s s ur right  
callmesoon: why is mommy so smart my actual mom isnt this smart  
haohao: i see where you got it from then  
callmesoon: eXVusE me whAT ???????  
callmesoon: THIS DISREscpeT

 

[ chat w everyone ]  
thesun: WOOHOO ARE TALL READY FOR THE ARCADE  
callmesoon: HEL L YEAH  
callmesoon: CHANNIE We'RE GONNA BE LAYE WAKE UP  
mEmeBoiXx: why arent you telling that to him irl  
callmesoon: I AM AND ITS NOT WORKING  
callmesoon: ITS SO HARD TO WAKE HIM UP BEFORE 12   
angelmom: guys meet up in the lobby in 20 minutes yea ???  
callmesoon: HOPEULLY  
callmesoon: CHANNIE N I MIGHT BE KINDA LAYE   
angelmom: u better not be  
callmesoon: NVM CHANNIE N I WILL MOST DEFNITELY BE THERE ON GIME  
angelmom: good  
princeofchina: should i wear a choker to the arcade  
haohao: yes  
haohao: for my sake  
princeofchina: :^))))))))))))))  
haohao: just wear a choker every day we're in vegas from today on  
haohao: why do i like you in chokers so much what the fuc k  
princeofchina: bc u like me ;;;;;;;;;;;;;^^^^^^^^)))))))))))))))))  
haohao: ,,,true  
princeofchina: :^)))))))))

thesun: LISTEN  
thesun: I LOVE LEE JIHOON MORE THAN ANYTHING  
thesun: HES AT THE TOP OF MY LIST OF THINGS I LOVE MORE THAN MYSELF  
thesun: BUT M&MS ARE A CLOSE SECOND  
thesun: I FEEL LIKE IM IN HEAVEN  
channie: soonyoung pls stop grabbing so many bags  
callmesoon: BUT  
channie: youre not planning on filling all of them up w m&ms are you ????  
callmesoon: um  
channie: soONYOUNG THAGS   
channie: ONLY ONE BAG  
callmesoon: PSHDKDHLDHSSHEJS  
callmesoon: FIN E  
mEmeBoiXx: mingyu where r u  
whataretissues: uh  
whataretissues: idk ????  
mEmeBoiXx: wha t  
whataretissues: idk i just followed the m&m paintings  
mEmeBoiXx: jesus christ just stay where you are  
jihoon: seokmin we are not buying an m&m pillow  
thesun: jiHOONIE PLS  
jihoon: what's the point  
thesun: ITS AN M&M PILLOW  
jihoon: ,,,  
jihoon: fine

[ chat wo jihoon ]  
mom2: OK KIDS MOM HAS A PLAN  
thesun: MOTHER HELP  
mom2: OK SEOKMIN WE HAVE FOOD HERE SO YOU TELL JIHOON THAT YOU'RE VISITING ME, CHEOLLIE, AND HANNIE TO PICK UP THE FOOD OK???  
thesun: YES MOTHER  
mom2: AND I GIVE YOU THE RING AND YOU HIDE IT IN YOUR POCKET  
mom2: AND TAKE THE FOOD  
mom2: AND THEN BAM YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A FIANCÉ   
thesun: KDHSKSHKDHDD OKOKOKOKOKOKOK

thesun: listening to be natural by red velvet in vegas is so good  
callmesoon: r u sitting in a fancy chair  
thesun: yes  
callmesoon: r u holding a wine glass   
thesun: im not 21 unfortunately  
thesun: so close  
thesun: yet so far  
mom2: hey seokminnie  
thesun: yes mother ???  
mom2: we've got food in our room, want some??  
thesun: LDHSOSH  
thesun: YE S  
thesun: BE OVER SOON  
callmesoon: i realized that im going to be 21 this year  
callmesoon: what does wine taste like  
dad: adulthood  
haohao: soonyoung stop spouting bullshit youve had alcohol before  
callmesoon: SHHHHHH DONT EXPOSE ME HAOHAO  
channie: cars and telephones is such a good song i ????  
channie: i dont even like arcade fire that song is just s o good  
thesun: imagine jihoonie playing the guitar and singing cars and telephones KFHSODHKSHSKSJ IM NOT OK  
angelmom: frank ocean is a good   
angelmom: a very good  
whataretissues: listen to frank ocean  
mEmeBoiXx: pink + white is such a good song  
mEmeBoiXx: play it at my wedding and funeral  
princeofchina: the 'if the ground was black n yellow' part always reminds me of the bee movie just bc 'black and yellow'  
haohao: take whats yours and leave this country  
princeofchina: i guess ur coming w me then  
haohao: i hate u and ur flirty ass that wasnt even good  
princeofchina: :^)))))))))))

[ chat wo jihoon ]  
callmesoon: SEOK  
callmesoon: HOWD THE PROPOSAL GO

[ chat w everyone ]  
thesun: I HAVE A FUCKING FIANCÉ IM GOING TO CR Y  
callmesoon: HOLY SHIT  
angelmom: SEOKMINNIE IM SO PROUD OF U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
mom2: :')  
jihoon: you're so embarrassing seok please  
thesun: LHSOSHKSHS IM IN VEGAS WITH MY F I A N C É  
thesun: I HAVE A FIANCÉ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
thesun: AND HIS NAME IS LEE JIHOON AND I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTING ELSE IN THIS UNIVERSE  
thesun: HOLY FUC K  
dad: and you were all worried he wouldnt say yes  
thesun: DAD SHHHSHSHHSHSHS HE CANT KNOW THAT  
thesun: THATS SECRET INFORMATION  
thesun: JOLDING JUHOONS LEFT HAND IS SO NICE NOW BC I CAN FEEL THE RING AND ITS JUST SKSHKSHDKSHD  
thesun: IT LOOKS SO GOOD ON HIM HIS HADS ARE SO PRETTY  
thesun: I LOVE MY FIANCÉ  
jihoon: whatever  
jihoon: love you  
thesun: I LOVE YOU TOO SWEETIE EKEHKSSKDHKSHSKSHDKDHJEHEJEH

mEmeBoiXx: CIRQUE DE SOLEIL WAS SO GOOD IM IN TEARS  
whataretissues: KDHSKSH MY STOMACH QENT INTO MY THROAT EVERYTIME THEY DID SOME WEIRD STUNT  
thesun: IT WAS SO PRETT DKABDKDJKSHSKDJD  
thesun: I BOUGHT A POSTCARD AND A POSTER  
haohao: you never send mail seokmin  
thesun: YEA BUT IT WAS TOO PRETTY TO PASS IP  
haohao: i mean  
haohao: true

thesun: OKOK SO  
thesun: JIHOONIE N I HAVE DECIDED TO WAIT A FEW YEARS TO GET OFFICIALY MARTIED  
thesun: BC WE'RE BOTH P YOUNG  
thesun: SO AROUND THE TIME IM MAYBE 23 AND HES ALMOST 24  
thesun: KDJSOD  
jihoon: it'll give us time to save up too  
callmesoon: YALL CAN U BELIEVE MY EST BRO IS ENGAGED   
channie: kshd you guys are so cute  
thesun: I KNOW LMAO  
jihoon: hey seok  
thesun: yea bby ??  
jihoon: do you want to get a dog  
thesun: HOLYSHIT Y ES  
thesun: DOES OUR APARTMENT ALLOW PETS ????  
jihoon: it better  
thesun: KDHSKSH  
thesun: WHAT DOG  
jihoon: maltipoos are cute  
thesun: ARE WE GETTING A MALTIPOO HOLY SHI T  
mEmeBoiXx: what i want a maltipoo  
mEmeBoiXx: mingyu  
whataretissues: wonu we already have all your plants to take care of  
whataretissues: also our apartment doesnt allow pets  
mEmeBoiXx: :^(((  
whataretissues: lets save up for a house and get a dog  
mEmeBoiXx: wait no a cat  
mEmeBoiXx: i really want a savannah cat but they need so much exercise im not up for that  
mEmeBoiXx: and theyre super expensive so  
whataretissues: different cat ??  
mEmeBoiXx: different cat  
thesun: CAN U IMAGINE KIFE W A MALTIPOO AND LEE JIOON AS UR FISNCÉ HES MY FUCKIJG FIANCÉ IM STILL JOT OVER THIS  
thesun: WE SHALL BETHE MOST DONESTIC OF CUUPLES  
callmesoon: YM EXCUSE U  
callmesoon: CHANNIE N I EXIST  
thesun: LMAO S O  
callmesoon: WE'RE THE DMIST DONESTIC OF COUPLES  
thesun: ARE YALL ENGAGED ????????????  
callmesoon: JUST BC WE AINT ENGAGED DOESNT MEAN WE AUNT D O M E S T I C  
thesun: HAVE U BEEN FATING FOR 6 YEARS ?????? I THINK THE TFUCK NO T  
callmesoon: O WELL FUK U TOO  
haohao: the only thing seokmin and soonyoung fight about are their boyfriends  
thesun: UM EXCUSE YOU F I A N C É  
haohao: shush im too lazy to actually type it out  
haohao: why is junhui so soft  
haohao: he feels like a fucking sofa what the fuck  
booyoncé: mayb its bc hes so greasy  
whataretissues: ???  
hansolbling: what  
booyoncé: idk i just wanted to say that jun was greasy

thesun: and the sun rises  
callmesoon: on our last day  
booyoncé: in vegas  
haohao: what the hell  
princeofchina: u will be missed dearly, vegas  
mom2: ??????  
thesun: but seriously i dont qant to leave vegas is so ????!?!!:&)/8:);937  
dad: it was a lot less stressful than i thought it would be   
callmesoon: dad its vegas why would it be stressful  
dad: you guys act like wild animals  
dad: the only ones i can rely on are jisoo, jihoon, and chan  
dad: and even chan gets sucked into the madness sometimes  
callmesoon: shit ur right  
channie: its all soonyoungs fault  
callmesoon: well im soR r y ur so fekin whipped   
channie: its not fair why do ur puppy eyes always work theyre not supposed to be cute ???????  
callmesoon: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;^^^^^^^^)))))))))))))))))))))   
whataretissues: starbucks breakfast sandwiches are pretty fucking terrible  
whataretissues: i could make something better than this bs  
hansolbling: you could probably get gordon ramsay to kiss ur feet if u fed him ok mingyu shut it  
mEmeBoiXx: i dont think ive ever seen hansol this salty before and that was like a mild seasoning  
hansolbling: its early shsuh  
thesun: lalalallaLAalLalaLalLALALA walkin down the hall to the elevator with my fUCKING FIANCÉ HOLY FUCKING SHIT  
thesun: THE RING IS PRETTY BUT HISNHANDS R PRETYIER  
thesun: FUCK EVERYONE GVING US WEIRD LOOKS I HAVE A FIAN C É  
callmesoon: TES U GO SON  
thesun: A TEENGE GIRL JUST RAN PAST US SCREECHING SOMETHING I COULDNT MAKE OUT AND THREW A GIANT PRIDE FLAG ON US LMOA  
jihoon: i'm pretty sure it was 'YES LET THE GAYS BE GAY IN THE HOTEL HALLWAY'  
jihoon: some other people who i assume are her friends just ran past us screaming the same thing and throwing glitter and fake flowers  
thesun: i lIVE BEUNG ENGAGED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea seokhoon lmao  
> give them more love theyre so fond of each other ;;;;;
> 
> idk honestly   
> expect a lot of 'FIANCÉ's in the future bc seok is never getting over this


	11. breathe in that sweet california air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is super sucky and short ive had 0 inspiration lately but i really wanted to get a chapter up for u guys so here it is

callmesoon: airportairportairport  
thesun: homehomehome  
haohao: stop  
thesun: nonono  
callmesoon: thanksthanksthanks  
princeofchina: i want starbucks hao come with me  
haohao: yes sure please  
thesun: lsjdkdhkdbxkshdkdhsengaged  
thesun: skshkshsjshaT HOME AND ENGGED  
thesun: IM GONAN EB AT HOEM AND EGAGED TI LEE KJGORNG  
whataretissues: lee kjgorng ???  
jihoon: what the fuck  
whataretissues: oh hey there kjgorng  
jihoon: kim mingyu i swear to fucking god  
whataretissues: wait u didnt bring ur guitar did you  
whataretissues: shit  
mom2: jihoon we're in an airport please don't knock mingyu out with your guitar  
callmesoon: **kjgorng

callmesoon: WE'RE HOME  
princeofchina: AAAAAAAA  
thesun: BREATHE IN THAT SWEET CALIFORNIA AIR  
callmesoon: WHY IS IT ALWAYS SO FUCKINGN COLD IN SAN FRANCSICO  
callmesoon: ITS OK SAN FRMACISCO I FORGIVE U BC U HAVE CUTE HUSES  
dad: text us when you get home guys  
thesun: yeS SIR  
haohao: wait who drove  
whataretissues: uh  
angelmom: wonwoo and i did  
mEmeBoiXx: wait what  
mEmeBoiXx: wait where did i park my car  
mEmeBoiXx: fuc k  
whataretissues: wonwoo thatS OUR RIDE HONE  
mEmeBoiXx: bABE IM SORRY LETS JUST WALK AROUND  
callmesoon: wait wonu thats me and chans ride too wonU

thesun: jihoonie n i got home !!  
angelmom: seokminnie cheol was in the car w u  
thesun: i know but  
thesun: yea  
dad: what abt wonwoos car  
dad: did u guys find it  
callmesoon: yea  
channie: somehow  
mEmeBoiXx: s h u t  
mEmeBoiXx: we dropped off soonchan & junhao and we just got home  
dad: coolcool  
dad: goodnight kids

princeofchina: me looking @ pictures of myself when i was outside, in public: ew no  
me @ home looking in the mirror: yes bitch  
booyoncé: what the hell u sayin u look like a model at all times bitch  
princeofchina: shit u right  
booyoncé: (╭☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )╭☞  
booyoncé: im always right  
callmesoon: what abt that time u believed that all babies were born gay  
booyoncé: SHUT  
booyoncé: WE DONT SPEAK OF THE GAY BABY INCIDENT  
thesun: CITY OF STAAARS  
thesun: LDHSOSH  
thesun: IDK ANY OF THE OTHER LYRICS BUT I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG SO MICH DONT TAL K TO ME UNLESS UR JIHOON  
whataretissues: **kjgorng  
thesun: ur lucky hes sleeping gyu  
whataretissues: i took the chance  
whataretissues: the bigger the risk the bigger the reward amirite  
hansolbling: the ending of la la land fucked me up b a d  
haohao: jun cried at every scene that had the slightest hint of emotion  
haohao: im surprised he isnt dehydrated  
princeofchina: who d i d n t cry bc of la la land  
haohao: me  
callmesoon: well ur a soulless monster hao we all know that  
haohao: true  
mEmeBoiXx: why did we spend over $30 on popcorn, 2 drinks, and 2 things of candy  
angelmom: bc movie theaters fucking suck  
dad: that was only for ,,,how many of you ??  
whataretissues: like 3 of us  
dad: jesus ch r is t  
channie: wait how much money did we use on the snacks alone  
thesun: uh  
mEmeBoiXx: if it costed $30 for 3 of us and we all used the same amount it wouldve been like $130 or smth  
channie: why are there 13 of us  
callmesoon: kick someone out  
thesun: i say we kick seungkwan out  
callmesoon: wait but what abt booseoksoon  
thesun: shit u right  
booyoncé: the gods r on my side  
mEmeBoiXx: i vote junhui  
callmesoon: good plan good plan  
princeofchina: wonwoo why  
mEmeBoiXx: :^))))  
callmesoon: byebye junnie  
princeofchina: no fck you  
callmesoon has deleted princeofchina from the chat  
callmesoon: too late  
mom2: soonyoung !!  
mom2 added princeofchina to the chat  
callmesoon: whAt  
callmesoon: Mo M  
mom2: no kicking people out  
callmesoon: :^(((  
princeofchina: thank u kindly mother  
mom2: no problem son

haohao: i miss junhuis hair that he had in may  
haohao: when will it make a comeback babe  
princeofchina: idk lmao im feeling this black hair  
haohao: i mean i am too but u looked fucking hot w that dirty blonde hair ok  
princeofchina: thanks bby (╭☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )╭☞  
whataretissues: no stop that ew  
haohao: how about i pull out each of your teeth one by one and stick them in every orifice of your body, internal and external  
whataretissues: ,,  
whataretissues: wonwoo help im being attacked  
mEmeBoiXx: that produced a terrifying mental image thanks a lot minghao  
haohao: :)  
booyoncé: n O i hate that its so soulless wheres its nose whywhywhwy  
haohao: :)  
haohao: :)  
booyoncé: sT O P I FLEE LIKE SOMINEES WATCHIN ME FROM THE WINDOW  
haohao: :)

callmesoon: I JUST FOUND 12 BRICKS  
thesun: THERE IT GO  
booyoncé: WHAT ?????  
callmesoon: T W E L V E B R I C K S  
princeofchina: i am the second coming of jesus christ  
thesun: PROVE IT  
callmesoon: takE A POOP ON THE GROUND  
mEmeBoiXx: AND TURN IT INTO WINE  
thesun: TURN THAT PIOP  
booyoncé: INTO WINE  
callmesoon: TURN THAT POOIP  
mEmeBoiXx: INTO WONE  
princeofchina: yE e  
callmesoon: that was the best burrito ive ever had  
whataretissues: turkish man yells meow at egg  
mEmeBoiXx: o for focks sek  
booyoncé: name a yellow fruit  
thesun: orange  
princeofchina: flying ball high five  
whataretissues: KOREAN KIMCHI SLAP !  
jihoon: ok that's it good job folks you can go home now goodnight clap clap go the fuck to sleep

booyoncé: ITS 11:11 MAKE A FUCKING WIDH YALL  
princeofchina: too lazy  
booyoncé: FUCK YOU IT PASSED  
princeofchina: shrugg

callmesoon: bones r kinda weird  
callmesoon: like theyre living things  
callmesoon: but they dont look or feel like living things  
haohao: plants are living things but they dont look or feel like theyre alive  
callmesoon: yea but  
callmesoon: bones  
thesun: wait bones are living things ????  
mEmeBoiXx: they grow seok  
mEmeBoiXx: they also create white and red blood cells n stuff  
mEmeBoiXx: we learned this shit in the seventh grade how do i remember this  
thesun: why do u remember such useless things  
mEmeBoiXx: i can remember random bone facts i learned in middle school but not my moms phone number ok  
whataretissues: why did i take spanish for four years how will i benefit from knowing how to conjugate verbs in spanish  
angelmom: i took french for two years then quit lmao  
angelmom: the only thing i remember is that 'nous sommes' means 'we are'  
angelmom: and like bonjour n shit but everyone knows that  
callmesoon: u can lowkey converse in french cant u  
angelmom: not really those two years equalled one high school year  
angelmom: like  
angelmom: je suis sud-coréen ?????  
angelmom: mightve fucked up an accent  
angelmom: that literally just means 'i am south korean' i cant really have a conversation  
booyoncé: all this french talk is reminding me of how seok asked jihoon out  
thesun: lmAO HOLY LOTF  
thesun: I LITERALLY JUST USED GOOGLE TRANSLATE IT COULDVE MEANT ANYTHING  
channie: wait what i wasnt here for this  
booyoncé: LMAO SO  
booyoncé: AT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 13  
booyoncé: LEE FUCKING SEOKMIN  
booyoncé: TYPED IN 'would u like to go out w me ??' INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE  
booyoncé: AND HE TEXTED TO JIHOON  
booyoncé: WHAT WAS IT ????  
thesun: VOULEZ-VOUS SORTIR AVEC MOI  
booyoncé: YES  
thesun: AND JIHOONIE WAS SO CONFUSED HE GOT TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY AND GAVE ME ONFUSED LOOKS THE WHOLE DAY  
thesun: IT WAS SO GREAT  
channie: wow  
channie: truly the best way to ask someone out  
thesun: its the language of love i thought it would be ~~romantic~~  
thesun: it got me the boy so  
thesun: kids use french on ur crush  
mEmeBoiXx: jihoon did you even think about using google translate to figure out what it was lmao  
jihoon: i did use it  
jihoon: the confused looks were more 'why do you want to go out with me'  
thesun: WAIT WHAT  
thesun: HOW DID I NOT KNEO THSI ???????  
jihoon: never told you, babe  
thesun: weLL OBVIOULY  
channie: are you telling me you found that out after 6 years ?????  
thesun: KSGDODUENDJFJSO

callmesoon: VOLTRON  
princeofchina: ur late soonie  
callmesoon: >:000000  
princeofchina: hao n i have already seen it twice  
callmesoon: o fuZck you  
channie: we're still only on episode 4 ,,,,,,,,,,,  
whataretissues: what kind of fake fans

thesun: this is old but  
thesun: i just love ur puppy dogs eyes  
thesun: i wanna be between ur puppy dog thighs  
callmesoon: cute aND sinful i like it i like it  
whataretissues: u literally just described jihoon lmao  
callmesoon: **kgorng  
booyoncé: stop thats dead  
callmesoon: i dont like jihoon tho  
mEmeBoiXx: who really does  
thesun: hi my name is lee seokmin and im lee jihoons fiancé  
whataretissues: well yea but ur his fiancé why would u have proposed if u didnt like him  
thesun: true

booyoncé: u wont be the annoying friend if u dont have any  
booyoncé: insert picture  
angelmom: ur always the annoying friend kwannie no matter what  
booyoncé: wow thanks mom

callmesoon: remember that one time we went to a party for the first and last time all together and seokmin looked like a model and jihoon looked like his stylist bf  
channie: ?????  
channie: damn i missed out on so much i wish i had come out sooner  
thesun: oH yea  
thesun: it was when us 97 liners were seniors in hs  
whataretissues: oh yeah some kid that we didnt know invited us to some party and told us we could bring friends  
haohao: i remember him saying to 'dress appropriately' but what the hell is appropriate attire for a high school party  
callmesoon: shrugg  
mEmeBoiXx: so basically all 12 of us went and since the guy was like 'dress appropriately' seokmin thought it was necessary to wear a black button and black skinny jeans and look like a model  
thesun: u know it ;;;;;^^^)))))))  
channie: how did jihoon look like his stylist ,,,  
princeofchina: well jihoon just looks really managery n stuff in general and he was wearing a black n white bomber jacket and black skinny jeans that day so  
angelmom: i dont think they stopped touching at any moment during the party  
angelmom: they were literally glued to each other  
thesun: mom there were so many people ok i wasnt going to lose my lil bear to a crowd of probably underage drunk kids  
princeofchina: u sound like amiddle aged man talking abt his child  
thesun: i am actually 50 years old  
channie: i thought u were a 97 liner  
thesun: i am  
thesun: the year is 2047  
thesun: and everythings gone to shit lmao but at least im engaged to jihoon  
channie: what an optimistic man  
thesun: u know it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually have a video of model seok n his snazzy bf jihoon saved on my phone that i posted on twitter a few days ago so hmu kids twitter n tumblr are in my bio
> 
> also how far are yall into the important videos playlist im abt 200 videos in


	12. yALL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall so ,,,,thisll probably be the last chapter of this bc lately ive had 0 inspiration/motivation ???? and idk if i ever do think up decent stuff i might post it but thank u for all the love !!

angelmom: GUYS I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY ANOTHER THING IN FRENCH  
booyoncé: gopher it mommy  
angelmom: je n'aime pas habiter  
haohao: and that means ?????  
angelmom: i dont like to live  
mEmeBoiXx: why do i feel like you used google translate  
angelmom: i didnt i swear my intentions are pure  
booyoncé: mHm sure

thesun: idk how to feel abt slimes  
thesun: like theyre so satisfying but at the same time so ????¿¿¿???¿??¿¿¿¿?????? yknow ???  
callmesoon: floams are the best ok  
mEmeBoiXx: mingyu made such a huge mess while trying to make one of those things  
channie: soonyoung made a huge mess trying to make a floam  
channie: i mean it did end up becoming a floam but the workspace was sO messy  
callmesoon: but it was worth it  
channie: it was i love floams  
booyoncé: yall ive started selling my slimes n floams on etsy catch up  
angelmom: wait seriously  
booyoncé: yes mother  
whataretissues: hey can i get a discount since we're friends  
booyoncé: who said we were friends  
booyoncé: do u not have 5 dollars  
whataretissues: ,,,,,,  
booyoncé: what kind of broke ass manchild  
whataretissues: i use all my money on things for wonwoo and food  
mEmeBoiXx: mingyu just make them on your own ill help you this time  
whataretissues: thanks bby  
hansolbling: kwannie can i get a discount since im ur boyfriend  
booyoncé: yes of course my luv ~~~~~  
whataretissues: ???????????????  
booyoncé: hes my boyfriend  
whataretissues: ???????????????????????????  
booyoncé: shuT  
hansolbling: wait how much  
booyoncé: free babe  
whataretissues: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????

princeofchina: ive been sick for 93626283629 years  
princeofchina: im sick of being sick  
thesun: aY e  
princeofchina: no shut up im sick and tired  
thesun: :'(((((( im hurt junnie  
princeofchina: good  
callmesoon: jun sounds like haohao ,,,,,,  
thesun: hes been infected  
princeofchina: well obviously  
thesun: yall what if i got a tongue piercing  
booyoncé: yEs bOY  
thesun: YE ??????????  
callmesoon: Y E  
princeofchina: haohao would suit it better  
callmesoon: he has that lip piercing he never keeps in whatever  
channie: aa piercings seem so cool but idk ?????  
callmesoon: channie my love you would look so good w piercings i would cry  
whataretissues: you cry when he does the simplest things  
mEmeBoiXx: like breathing  
hansolbling: or existing  
callmesoon: shit ur right  
thesun: jihoonie  
jihoon: babe  
thesun: jihoonie  
jihoon: babe we've talked about this  
thesun: jihoonieee  
jihoon: ok yes i'm considering  
thesun: yEs i love you  
channie: ????  
thesun: jihoonie might get a piercing !!!!!!! :'DD  
thesun: we dont know where yet tho ,,,,  
angelmom: CHEEK PIERCINGS ON THOSE DIMPLES  
thesun: BUT THEN U WONT BE ABLE TO SEE HIS DIMPLES ANYMORE  
jihoon: no cheek piercings  
channie: labret piercings are kinda cool !!  
jihoon: i'm eh about lip piercings  
jihoon: more of a seokmin thing  
mEmeBoiXx: eyebrow ???  
jihoon: a possibility  
thesun: oOo ye s  
whataretissues: nose ???  
thesun: sepTUM ????????  
thesun: A LIL SEPTUM PIERCING AWWKSHSKDHDKSNAND THATD BE SO CUTE  
jihoon: we'll see  
thesun: :'DDDDDDD  
angelmom: what abt channie  
channie: well,,,,, labrets look cool but maybe later  
callmesoon: mMmMmMmMmm channie n piercings what a gIFT  
channie: ive been thinking ,,,, maybe a daith ???  
callmesoon: YES HON  
mom2: oh those are cute!!  
mom2: or a rook  
channie: yea those are nice too ,,  
whataretissues: wtf are all these words  
hansolbling: how do yall know this shit  
callmesoon: channie n i have been researchin  
angelmom: jisoos gotten enough piercings to know  
booyoncé: hansol mei got a labret piercing u shouldve known tha t  
booyoncé: and she has a bunch of other piercings  
hansolbling: sorry babe but you know i dont watch mei as much as you  
booyoncé: i do and its unacceptable come here we're having a mei marathon  
hansolbling: what ok  
thesun: ive been reading up on tongue piercings and im still ???? abt it ???  
thesun: like what if i cant kiss jihoonie for a certain period of time bc if its longer than 30 minutes we're going to have some difficulties  
callmesoon: hm thats true ,,,, but it would look so cool  
thesun: thats the thing !!!!!!! it would look fine.as.hell. but am i willing to give up jihoonies kisses to look cool ????  
thesun: knowing me ??  
thesun: probably not  
jihoon: babe if you want to get it then get it  
thesun: ye but ,,,,,no kisses ??????  
jihoon: it'll probably be fine as long as you don't use tongue  
thesun: tru e ,,,,  
thesun: k just read up on it and they said i need to wait two weeks for kissing ????????? and no tongue until its healed ????????????  
thesun: i think its saying we can kiss wo tongue as long as i clean it after ???? i think i can survive w that  
jihoon: if you can then i can  
thesun: :')))  
whataretissues: that was disgustingly cheesy but sweet at the same time i hate you both

 

booyoncé: makin my way downtown  
booyoncé: in my new shoes  
booyoncé: feelin cute  
whataretissues: is that it  
princeofchina: nothing else ???  
booyoncé: my imagination is -92738/10 today  
haohao: **everyday  
booyoncé: WOW  
booyoncé: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS TREATMENT  
haohao: exist  
booyoncé: :'((((((((( ur so mean to me haohao  
haohao: i know :)  
mEmeBoiXx: what a soulless creature  
callmesoon: soulless creature ??? did u mean fucken yeHI ??????  
hansolbling: i thought u loved yehi what happened  
callmesoon: shE HOOKEDHER CLAW THROUGH MY EARRING AND TUGGED AND NOW MY EARLOBE HURTS LIKE THE DEV I L  
callmesoon: SHE IS THE DEVIL  
callmesoon: MY CAT IS THE DEVIL IN CAT FORM  
callmesoon: but i got ear kisses from channie so it was worth it  
mEmeBoiXx: i feel like all your stories end with you getting kisses from chan  
channie: kissing soonyoung is my favorite activity  
soonyoung: getting kisses from channie is my second favorite activity next to giving channie kisses  
hansolbling: ,,,  
whataretissues: i actually just retched what kind of sweet ass b u l lshit  
callmesoon: ur just jealous bc u & wonu arent like this ;^)))))))  
whataretissues: who said u knew anything abt me & wonu  
princeofchina: mingyu is getting kinda salty u know this is the part where i come and start watching  
princeofchina: this show was nothing before i came on it  
mEmeBoiXx: did you just quote cash me ousside girl  
callmesoon: uHm her name is danielle  
princeofchina: yes  
dad: honestly cash me ousside is a shitty meme and i cant wait to see it die  
booyoncé: dAD TALKING ABT MEMES WHEN WILL UR FAVES  
callmesoon: THIS IS LEGENDARY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE MARK UR CALNDATS  
princeofchina: THE DAY CHOI SEUNGCHEOL GAVE US HIS OPINION ON THE CASH ME OUSSIDE MEME  
callmesoon: YALLVE BEEN BLESSED  
whataretissues: 'yallve' reminds me of 'yaint' can we just take a moment here  
channie: yaint is 'you all are not' right  
mEmeBoiXx: indeed  
channie: i mean ,,,,,it kind of makes sense ???  
channie: aint isnt actually a contraction for are not but ok texans ok  
booyoncé: wow ok son slow down abd go back to ur fucking danimals and crayolas  
channie: excuse me  
channie: im eightee n  
booyoncé: and im nineteen hunny what flavor lollipop do u want  
channie: ,,  
channie: orange  
booyoncé: what im not actually gettin u a lollipop wtf  
channie: wow ok  
callmesoon: dont worry my babe ill get u a lollipop  
channie: ,,can it be a popsicle instead  
callmesoon: ofc my luv  
channie: lets go  
princeofchina: im laughign what a pure scene  
angelmom: chan really is a baby wow ,,,,,,,  
channie: im sOrry i like orange flavored things  
whataretissues: u should be thats a federal crime  
channie: but do u forgive me  
whataretissues: but of course  
channie: wow what a Top Notch Hyung  
thesun: iM LAUHGIBF  
thesun changed whataretissues' name to Top Notch Hyung  
Top Notch Hyung: what did i do to deserve this  
mEmeBoiXx: you were a Top Notch Hyung  
Top Notch Hyung: wonU I THOUGHT U CARED FOR ME  
mEmeBoiXx: ofc i do sweetheart :)  
Top Notch Hyung: bLOCKED  
princeofchina: in what universe would kim mingyu, a Top Notch Hyung, block jeon wonwoo on any social media or texting app  
Top Notch Hyung: not a single one my friend

channie: blaschko's lines are so!cool! i wish we learned abt things like this in school then i wouldve gone back after i moved in w soonyoung  
callmesoon: at least we get more time together :'))))  
mEmeBoiXx: k but what are blaschkos lines  
channie: theyre these lines on your body that everybody has that represent the developmental growth pattern !!! they follow a v shape over the upper spine, an s shape over the abdomen, an inverted u shape from the breast to the upper arm, and perpendicular lines up and down the arms and legs. theyre also on the head and neck, but less defined. you can sometimes see them if you have a some kind of skin disease  
channie: they were named after the guy that originally described them, dr alfred blaschko. he examined over 140 patients w linear skin lesions that followed similar patterns back in 1901  
Top Notch Hyung: holy shit  
callmesoon: that was so cute omg ,,,,,  
channie: ?? i literally just stated facts that i found on the internet abt blaschkos lines soonie  
callmesoon: u were so passionate abt it bby ur next to me I SAW THOSE EYES SHINE  
channie: iTS INTERESTING LET ME LIVE  
haohao: those are really cool tho ??? i wish you could see them wo having a stupid skin disease  
channie: yea i know :^((  
thesun: imAGINE A UNIVERSE WHERE EVERYONES BLASCHKOS LINES WERE VISIBLE  
channie: !!!!! THAT WOULD BE SO COOL ????????  
channie: aaa i love learning abt things like this ,,,  
callmesoon: ur so cute im crubgg

princeofchina: HERES A NICE TIP IF UR LIPS ARE CRUSTY AND CHAPPED LIKE MINGYUS: MIX SOME CINNAMON AND HONEY AND RUB IT ON YOUR LIPS AND KEEP IT ON FOR A MINUTE THEN WASH IT OFF AND PUT ON CHAPSTICK AND YOUR LIPS WILL BE PLUMP AND N O T C R U S T Y KIM MINGYU  
Top Notch Hyung: ITS NOT MY FAULT WTF  
princeofchina: YES IT IS ITS NOT THAT HARD TO DRINK SOME WATER AND PUT ON SOME DAMN CHAPSTICK AND TRY!!!!THIS!!!!!METHOD!!!!!!!!!!  
Top Notch Hyung: oK FINE IF YOULL SHUT UP ABT MY DAMN CRUSTY LIPS  
princeofchina: THANK YOU  
hansolbling: why has wonwoo never complained abt mingyus crusty lips  
Top Notch Hyung: probably doesnt want to embarrass me bc hes a gOOD PERSON WEN JUNHUI  
princeofchina: I AM A GOOD PERSON IM DOING WONWOO ANFAVOR  
Top Notch Hyung: bY EMBARRASSING ME ?????  
princeofchina: BY GIVING YOU TIPS TO MAKE UR LIPS LESS DAMN CRUSTY  
Top Notch Hyung: goodbye im done w this uve been Blocked Reported and Deleted  
princeofchina: at least i wont have to deal w ur nasty lips again

hansolbling: its 3 am and ive realized that 1)ive been stroking my eyebrow for the past 4 hours 2) eyebrows are very soft  
thesun: i just rubbed my eyebrow and i can confirm this statement  
callmesoon: wow wtf why dont people describe things as eyebrows  
callmesoon: like 'these pillows are as soft as eyebrows' instead of 'these pillows are as soft as clouds'  
callmesoon: yall clouds arent even soft theyrre just water and air  
mEmeBoiXx: yea but they look soft  
callmesoon: ye but  
haohao: wonwoo im sick of your username im changing it  
mEmeBoiXx: wait what  
mEmeBoiXx: no ive had this since forever miNGHAO NO  
haohao changed mEmeBoiXx's username to tractor fucker  
haohao: dedicated to that one tumblr post  
tractor fucker: wait i actually like this username  
tractor fucker: hey thanks man buddy pal  
haohao: that was disgusting  
tractor fucker: ( *｀ω´)  
callmesoon: THATS SO CUTE WTF  
channie: IT LOOKS LIKE SOONYOUNG  
callmesoon: HOW DID U GET THAT  
tractor fucker: apparently the japanese keyboard comes w cute emojis  
callmesoon: whAT HOW HAVE I NOT KNOWN THIS I EVEN TOOK JAPANESE IN HS GODDAMMIT  
callmesoon: I KNEW I SHOULDVE ADDED IT TO MY KEYBOARDS DKHDKDH  
channie: i took japanese too but i never added the keyboard ???? aaa  
callmesoon: ☆〜（ゝ。∂）  
callmesoon: IM CRUIGN THESE ARE SO CUTE  
channie: ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ  
callmesoon: hOLY SHIT THATS THE CUTEST FUCKINGNTHING  
channie: *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*  
channie: this one has so many sparkles !!!!  
tractor fucker: lmao  
angelmom: i love watching my kids have fun w stupid emojis

**Author's Note:**

> are you regretting your life choices yet
> 
> and if you couldnt tell:  
> dad: seungcheol  
> angelmom: jeonghan  
> mom2: jisoo  
> mEmeBoiXx: wonwoo(im so sorry)  
> princeofchina: junhui  
> callmesoon: soonyoung  
> jihoon: ,,,jihoon  
> thesun: seokmin  
> whataretissues: mingyu  
> haohao: minghao  
> booyoncé: seungkwan  
> hansolbling: hansol ,,  
> channie: chan


End file.
